this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
292 points (95.9% liked)
Asklemmy
44145 readers
1322 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I've had a colleague say that tea is "homo water". I'm aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don't know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we've kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.
To anyone who thinks tea isn't for cishet men I have four words:
Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
๐ณ๐ณ Hey, I'm a cishet man but thinking about joining jean-luc for some tea, earl grey, hot, really gives me the vapors.
Q also joined for some tea.
Earl gay
Being gay doesn't mean someone is somehow less masculine, which is the heart of what the "homo water" idiot is implying.
Was the British Empire, upon which the sun never set, somehow not masculine enough? One could argue it ran on tea. Morally questionable, absolutely, but not manly enough?
Were the samurai somehow compromised in their masculinity because they drank tea, sometimes in elaborate ceremonies?
And, apart from tea, were the Sacred Band, the elite warriors who died to a man fighting Alexander the Great's dad, somehow less manly because they were all gay?
I bet this colleague of yours also thinks straws are gay in this parlance, as if it's somehow more manly to put one's lips on the same glass rims touched by hundreds of others. I guess hygiene is not masculine or heterosexual.
And the thing is, even my rant here is problematic because it spawns from a lifetime of people equating gay with not being enough of a man, an attitude that infects my own thinking.
Shit, the most feminine of men is more of a man than these idiots if he stands up for his identity unapologetically.
Yeah this is kinda a point. People like this colleague seem to have gotten stuck in a highschool bully mindset ans never moved on. All of their jokes are about people who are different, their whole status seems to be based on their "masculinity". In my experience this is the largest portion of homo/transphobes here in the Netherlands. People who aren't violent or outright hateful, but rather just pushing outdated jokes and viewpoints and then getting annoyed by all the "woke bullshit" when they get called out.
My tactic so far is to not fully attack back, but rather staying friendly while showing my disappointment with this behaviour unless it goes too far. Most of these people are otherwise decent, and in my opinion may be swayed by someone "woke" who doesn't go "full crazy sjw" but does call them out. Making a joke about minorities is way easier of you don't know anyone well from those groups. They're not crazy Trump voters, so they may still be steered in the right direction
The entire nations of Iran, England, and China would like to know the location of this little bitch