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Have you ever apologized to someone you wronged for a very long time, or received an unexpected apology in a similar way? (mander.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Mothra@mander.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Such a long title.

Basically I'm wondering if this happens IRL, and how. I've heard countless stories of people who hold a grudge against family members /ex partners/ ex friends/ neighbours etc. for years, and they do horrible things to each other. Or maybe just the cold shoulder can be rough especially for such a long time. But not so many stories of people in these situations who suddenly talk things out unexpectedly, out of their own will and not because they kept getting nagged about whatever happened.

I've also heard about people who screw up big once, never acknowledge or apologize, then everyone puts the episode behind and moves on. But I've never heard about suddenly this person perhaps decades afterwards just actually addressing their screw up and apologizing.

So, have you ever received one of these big, unexpected apologies? Or have you ever apologized for something you did you never thought you would want or dare to apologize for?

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[–] Meowoem@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think I would hate if anyone apologised to me for how they treated me in school, of course I'd have to pretend that it's ok and accept their apology, act like we're friends now or something and wish them the best...

Then I'd go and be depressed about it, feel humiliated and annoyed. Probably anxious and uncomfortable too because they'll be telling people 'hey remember that kid we used to bully, I saw him and apologised' maybe they'll even make a social media post to highlight how great that are now and it's all ok because they waved their magic word wand and fixed all the compounded psychological issues they caused...

I don't think you should feel bad for keeping it to yourself, it's not going to fix anything so what would be the point?

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 2 points 1 year ago

Well, everyone is different so if this is how you would feel about a bully apologizing, I'm sure others also think the same. But I think you are wrong to presume everyone would feel the same way you do. How can you be so sure it's not going to fix anything for someone else? I recommend you read some of those who actually got an apology.

I also wouldn't be so sure the ex bully would go around posting on social media this kind of stuff. Apologizing is hard already, I would squirm in shame if I was to admit on Facebook or Instagram that I bullied someone. Sounds embarrassing af even if the post is about the apology. It works on anonymous sites as Lemmy or Reddit though.