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For me personally, it didn't really feel like anything. Kind of like taking an over the counter pain medicine, it's not an obvious change but the pain that was there before is numbed or even entirely gone. Not noticeable unless consciously thinking about it.
It took a while to find the right dosage (roughly a year, multiple hospital visits, and a divorce from a toxic marriage), but I went from being obsessed with suicide and doing multiple attempts every day to being horrified at the thought of suicide and wanting to live as long as possible.
Do you ever think it might have been getting away from the marriage that was the ultimate antidepressant? I'm starting to think 99% of the problem is environmental (like home life) and antidepressants are medicine's way of modulating a status quo that is otherwise not economically changeable or feasible to change
I used to be sceptical of antidepressants as well, wanting to try and fix things "properly". But after getting in a really bad state, I decided to accept their "help". Lifestyle changes are important, but antidepressants "take the edge off" and make it easier to implement those changes.
I think antidepressants should pretty much always be paired with other support or lifestyle changes though.
I completely agree with you. That's not the experience my wife has had though. Finding the right professional to work with has been a challenge for her and her general practitioner has prescribed her SSRIs on more than one occasion without providing any guidance/assistance beyond "take this to feel better".
Honestly I don't think I would have filed for divorce before the medication. I was convinced that I was not only the problem, but that I was an evil villain, and that I was making the world a better place by killing myself. Suicide was the noble and heroic action in my mind at the time, and it's only with the benefit of hindsight, continued medication, regular therapy, and reassurances from my family that I'm able to recognize how toxic my former situation was.