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Men, are you physically affectionate with other male friends? (eg, hugging, snuggling, playful wrestling, etc). If you aren't, do you wish it was more socially acceptable if it isn't in your culture? (pawb.social)

submitted 4 months ago by Wahots@pawb.social to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Somewhat. Hugging yes, snuggling no, playful wrestling when certain friends are particularly drunk.

Yes, I do wish it was more socially acceptable

Frodo and Sam should be fucking role models, especially the book versions who were even more deeply close than the films.

I mean, honestly, for fantasy, the entire Lord of the Rings series is replete with strong men expressing emotion in healthy ways to deal with the horrors of what they were facing. They sing deeply loving songs for fallen comrades, notably Boromir even after he makes a grave mistake, already forgiven, while giving him the best of funerals they can (In their song for Boromir, Aragorn even calls Boromir beautiful[^1]). They cry for one another and feel great distress at the suffering of those in their fellowship. They carry each others' burdens up to Sam literally carrying Frodo up Mount Doom. Anyway, they weren't unwilling to show physical affection or speak highly of another's beauty.

[^1]: "His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest," In every context of Toklein using the word "fair" in LOTR, it has been taken to mean "beautiful."

[–] Wahots@pawb.social 2 points 4 months ago

It was really interesting to watch. I know Tolkien didn't write the entire series as a reflection of WW1, but while watching longer clips of WW1 british soldiers (particularly in non-combat scenarios), I was struck at just how playful and affectionate they were with each other, even POWs that they were relaxing with or sometimes, playing with. In some sense, I feel like the culture around physical affection was just a bit different back then, and people were less guarded. Feels like some of that seeps into Tolkien's books :)