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My 13-year-old daughter's best friend is trans. His parents will not give him any sort of puberty blockers or hormones, but they do let him use a chest binder, which must be quite uncomfortable. They accept that he is trans and do not deadname him, but won't go any further than that.
He has a lot of psychological issues.
I worry about him a lot.
Sounds a lot like they're hoping it's a phase and will "work itself out".
My oldest is NB, they're 15. I like to think we're about as open-minded as it gets, but I still had the thought that it might be something brought about by seeing people they look up to being a certain way and not from internal, intrinsic reasons.
I hope your daughter's friend ends up ok. If nothing else then knowing there are people out there that think of him might help with feeling isolated and misunderstood.
That's definitely a possibility. I only met his mom once and only for a second, but they seem supportive enough to spend money on boys clothes for him.
I'm more worried about how he's treated in school- they deadname him (and his parents have told the school not to), they make him use the girls' bathroom and locker room, and once a girl was being bigoted, he slapped her for it, and only he got punished.
We took my daughter out of that school and put her in online school because she was bullied so badly it was giving her major psychological issues and she is cis, so I can't imagine how bad he has it. I do know that at 13, he's already vaping and smoking weed. And he cuts himself. If I could, I would take him out of that school and drive him to my house every day to do online school with my daughter.
Oh so they are capable of treating him like a guy.
Of course. Trans people are their true gender when it suits the bigots.
That's awful. Man, it sucks seeing that kind of thing and not being able to help.
Funnily enough, that's very similar to the thought process I had regarding masculinity when I came out to myself as non-binary.
Thanks for supporting your kid.
That's super interesting! And I guess I can kind of see that point about masculinity, it's an awful thing overall the way we treat the notion of "manliness". Good on you, and thanks for the insight!
I wore chest binders for like 4 years. They're not bad. It's a great way to present masculine while deciding if you want to make a move that will dramatically change the course of your life.
Well I'm glad to hear they are not as uncomfortable as I had feared. There are a lot of other issues with him, unfortunately. Poor kid.