this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
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Interesting, so you're blaming trans people now for, as you say, "setting things on fire?" i-e, the discrimination and oppresive social norms and laws we're up against?
At the end of the day, if you have a parent that neglectful towards their children that them transitioning would be dangerous for them, trans children should be able to relocate to live with a supportive family member, or, if none are available, relocate to a found family, such as with a nearby friend or with families who volunteer to house trans youth. The other alternative to staying with parents who don't support us is years of trauma, and the 40% number will stay the same. That's what I had to go through.
However, found families are also often illegal. The only state to my knowledge with a similar law to what I'm asking for is Washington: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/transgender-minors-protected-from-estranged-parents-under-washington-law.
This is a great step in the right direction. But not enough states have these laws, and even still, there aren't enough transitional services for trans youth entering adulthood. Meanwhile, trans children stuck in red states are basically completely screwed.
No, I’m blaming Republicans for setting things on fire. They’re working hard to keep the hate engine going after it stopped being cool to hate gay people.
Pulling kids out of homes is always a tough call. The foster system has a lot of issues and abuse is far too common. And while it might stave off some abuses at home, taking kids out of the home pulls away a lot of the resources kids need to succeed.
The sad truth is the country learned absolutely zero lessons from the struggle over gay marriage, so it’s going to be another 20-30 years of bullshit before everyone begrudgingly admits trans people are people too. While I feel for the trans kids in shitty homes, I think the biggest priority is stopping the abusive laws in half the country first. And Republicans are 100% the ones to blame for those.
Okay.
Let us imagine two brothers, Republican and Democrat. Democrat listens as Republican promises to burn down the house, watches as Republican fills up containers with gasoline, and stands by while Republican pours gasoline on everything and lights it on fire.
Democrat could have stopped things from getting this far. By letting Republican get this far, Democrat becomes an accomplice.
Well, no. For the past decade, Republicans have been doing shitty things and then complaining the Democrats don’t do enough to stop them. They filibuster any actual useful law, and then push a bunch of terrible laws in red states while using Republican-appointed judges to back them. The Democrats are forced to drag Republicans kicking and screaming and kiss their asses just to keep them from shutting the water off before they set the house ablaze.
That doesn’t make them an “accomplice,” that makes them the only thing stopping this lunacy at a national level. If Republicans get a filibuster-proof majority in Congress and the presidency next election, they 100% will pass the red state laws on a national level and you’ll be pining for the days where the Democrats were doing damage control.
What specific thing did the Democrats have the opportunity to do that they didn’t do? Not some vague “They should have done more,” what specific law did they have the clear numbers for that they refused to pass?
Under Obama they had Democratic supermajority and a Democratic president, and they didn't use this to nip this problem in the bud. They could have changed Senate rules back then to do all sorts of shit and they chose not to do anything at all. As far as I'm concerned, it's their fault that McConnell was able to pack the Court in the first place. Then, when they got their majority back and had a mandate after Trump's disastrous term, they chose to not expand the Court and undo the Court packing that had already taken place.
So now when my red state decides to forcibly detransition me in Biden's second term, Democrats will do jack shit about it.
That's just the procedural stuff in Washington. Politics is a lot bigger than just electing representatives! They could have used their platform to organize angry citizens pushing social change on all other levels of society. Republican politicians have names and addresses. Republicans have associates and donors. Family. Republicans have businesses, investments, and property. A properly organized People's movement could make their lives a living hell and make it impossible for them to do their jobs. Democrats won't do that, though, because it would be uncivil.
That's a really easy call to make when you're not the one experiencing these things. The foster care system is fucked up too, and is also a place trans kids, and, well, frankly, kids in general are horribly abused under. The trans kids in shitty homes don't care whether or not you "feel bad for them" if they can't live through the abuse long enough to become adults. I'm one of the "lucky" ones. Ever think about why the average elder (more than 7 years of transition) trans person is capable of putting up with so much bullshit? Because the ones of us who weren't able to are dead already. 40% of trans people attempt suicide.
To quote Martin Luther King Jr. in his Letter from Birmingham Jail:
"First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection."
You’re comparing apples to oranges. King was talking about moderates who were vacillating over supporting civil rights out of fear of tension, not kids in the foster care system. I’m 100% for updating the Civil Rights Act to say you can’t discriminate against trans people, period, and automatically invalidating all the insane laws out here.
What we’re talking about is pulling kids out of homes. And the evidence on that is clear: Bad homes are better than foster care. I’m sorry that your childhood sucked, but statistically speaking, your life statistically would not have been any better if you had left home, and may have actually been worse. Yes, it should obviously still be an option in extreme situations, but your proposal that such a thing should be implemented when the evidence shows that it will cause more harm is not a viable solution to the problem. All it will do is put more stress on an already broken system.
Sure, magically if we could make the foster system perfect tomorrow, and magically could fix all the laws tomorrow, then maybe it would make sense. But if we had that sort of magic, we could magically fix shitty parents, too.
I did leave home. My parents kicked me out of the house, but friends allowed me to stay with them. That's the only reason I survived. If you read my article, I advocate primarily for direct action and tangible things you can do to help us. The comparison I draw from the quote I gave you is about your idea that we just need to wait a few years. We just need to go through a few more election cycles, and everything will be fixed.
I think that's ridiculous. We can take action now.
If you have a trans friend that's about to be homeless, or hell, any friend who is about to be homeless, you can let them sleep on your couch.
If Moms for Liberty or other fascist groups are coming to your local school board meeting (they are, I promise you), you should go over there and speak in support.
If fascists are threatening queer people at the local drag show, you should show up with your friends and stand up for what is right, because the police won't. In fact, they're most likely there out of uniform.
Vote for democrats if you want. I don't care. I do harm reduction voting too. But it's not enough, and I'm just begging allies to care enough to show up in real life where it matters. If you read my call to action, I say exactly this.