this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2024
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Honestly, I know you mean we'll but I find statements like this extremely dangerous and damaging.
There isn't some 'international council of men' that could collectively sort anything out. Ideas like blaming the whole gender is part of the reason why we have a rise in far-right sentiment among young men, as it's easy to feel like the world is against you for things that you personally have no say in. Young men (just like anyone else) need support, and not to be blamed for bad-behavior of others!
Instead it's up to those of us (the vast majority) who don't represent toxic masculinity to set a compassionate example
Women are going to be wary for as long as they have reason to. You're essentially just stating that we shouldn't talk about this fact because it hurts the feelings of men who were probably part of the problem to begin with. It's on those men to listen to the feedback and internalize it, not on women to keep their opinions to themselves.
They didn't say that at all. What they are trying to express is that stereotypes, such as "men are usually dangerous to women", or "women should fear men just in case", are disingenuous ideas that harm both sides.
Some men are good people and some are bad. Some women are good people and some are bad.
Condemning either group for the actions of a few perpetuates the stereotype by making impressionable indiviuals on both sides of the equation start accepting the "complimentary" stereotypes just because they observe a few correlations from time to time.
Before long, critical thinking goes out the window, correlation is assumed to be causation and you've got men reacting aggressively to posts that say they are dangerous and women saying "I chose the bear!" even though they know that is staticallyess safe because it aligns with the message they think they need to share because they buy into the same stereotype the men did and vice versa.
It runs parallel to the same sort of thing playing out in politics around the world though it's certainly more pronounced in the US thanks to the two party system and volume of communication.
Talking about the issue is fine but this discourse is flawed. Imagine how it would play out if the question was "white people, would you rather be stranded on a island with a black person or an alligator?"
And now your argument would be "white people should be afraid of black people until they are given a reason not to be."
Doesn't that sound really messed up to say? I hope so because it felt bad just to type out for the purpose of this comparison.
Each person is an individual unto themselves and I think if you can agree with that, then there is no rationale that can support group stereotypes in human psychology.
Is not what Kate Lister or feminist in general are doing. They're saying that they are afraid of being alone with a man, this is just how they feel.
Here in France, 96% of sexual assaults are performed by men. I don't think you could find a country where the statistic goes the other way. "a few correlations from time to time" really doesn't reflect the reality of the situation. It's not some correlation, it's a systemic issue in our society.
I actually agree that critical thinking goes out the window ! "I chose the bear!" is meant to express that women are afraid of men. The fact that most women would actually be terrified of an encounter with a bear or that they are statistically safer with a man than with a bear is irrelevant. Women want to send a message and instead of listening, you are correcting them on a technicality.
The fact that you are only talking about the discourse and not the actual problem makes me wonder if you really want the issue to be resolved
This is a terrible comparison. When woman say they are afraid of men, it's a dominated group being afraid of its dominators. With your black perso/alligator question, it's a case of dominators being afraid of a group its dominating.
Isn't it though? That's the subtext of saying you are afraid of men. It pretty directly carries the idea that all men are a group that should be feared by women for the potential dangers they represent.
That does little to establish the likelihood of any given man to sexually assault a women. A stat like that is talking about a populate that is comprised entirely of perpetrators of sexual assault. This would be like saying saying "96% of drowning happens in bodies of water" The stat we would need to see instead would be "what % of men will commit at least one instance of sexual assault in their lifetime" and the population sample would need to be all men that resided in a specific location for say 60 years of their life. I'm sure someone more skilled with statistics than myself could express what I'm trying to say more accurately but I hope I explained well enough you can see what I was trying to convey atleast.
When a message predicates itself on a falsehood it should be criticized. How can you have a worthwhile discussion when your invitation to the conversation is a a lie? It's like a time share or a MLM, the premise is a lie so everything that follows is not tainted by that even if there is some truth in it.
So disagreeing with a conversation being built on a lie and advancing a stereotype implies I want oppress women? That's reaching pretty hard. I'm not saying women aren't experiencing an unfair circumstance and that their feelings are invalid. I'm saying that this is the wrong way to discuss it because it means the audience who needs to hear it most is presented with cognitive dissonance upfront and a very vocal portion of the women trying to share their experience are shocked and insulted that the men won't listen or try to defend themselves. Of course that was going to happen when you open the conversation up with nonsense rhetoric and now we silenced women with credible stories to share while galvanizing the very men who need to hear this shit the most from trusting the women with the stories to tell.
You wouldn't bring loud-mouthed, personal insult slinging demagouges to a debate and expect a favorable outcome would you?
It doesnt matter what order you put the adjectives in. It's a terrible comparison because any comparison like this is predicated on stereotypes whether they are gender, racial, religious, or whatever. There is no valid stereotype for individual psychology at such a broad demographic level.