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I used to not really like JKR for reasons like these: https://stallman.org/harry-potter.html
I am not completely sure where I stand on her substantive opinions in relation to trans issues. I think it's a debate where both sides make some good points.
But she is definitely right about the decline of free speech.
In the nicest possible way, what do you mean by "both sides" in this context? One side says that trans people either don't or shouldn't exist and the other side says they should exist. I know that may sound extreme or combative but that's fundamentally "the debate" so I genuinely want to understand how you reached this "both sides have merit" stance that some people close to me also take but I've never understood.
The only merit that I can see is that some people feel that gender should be nothing more than a description of biological or, at least, physiological sex.
It confuses me to no end that my very girly oldest child identifies male, especially since hearing them talk about it, it seems more a rejection of being seen as a sexual object than any desire to be a man.
If my kid wants to identify male while being born a girl and being super into makeup, dresses, and sparkle, and that helps them deal with their sexual abuse, more power to them. Even if it breaks my old person brain a little.
Nothing excuses hating someone or being angry because they disagree with you about the definition of gender. I mean, if a woman assaults another female person, the punishment should be the same, right? It's not like men can't go into women's bathrooms anyways if their mind is set on it.
Yeah then you start debating the merits of hate crime as a concept and I am not even slightly equipped to deal with that!
I had similar queries around "biological sex" vs gender a while ago and my understanding now is that biological sex is surprisingly hard to define. You can't go by genitalia because sometimes a person creates the "wrong" ones. You can't go by chromosomes because again, sometimes they're different. And you can't go by other physical traits (Adams apple for example) because again sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not, completely unrelated to sex. You can sort of go by hormones but not really (just look at professional sport) so it's all a bit of a mess. It's way easier for me to just accept there's a spectrum and move on, because to me it's way harder to actually define where the line is than to just dismiss the line entirely.
Exceptions don't disprove the rule. I specialized in genetics twenty plus years ago, so most of the stuff people are finding out via the internet is something I've known for a long time.
Of course there's a spectrum, but it's dumbbell shaped. Just getting a bit thicker about the middle, like most of us.