this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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I am the Rust programmer, I will rewrite the world in Rust. I will rewrite the world in Rust because the world is unsafe. As I am the Rust programmer I will keep writing rust until the world is safe. After the world is safe, I will not rewrite it in Rust. Because I am the Rust programmer I will retire from programmer in Rust.

I will come to you when you are sleeping, and I will unloc k your computer using a memory leak. If I find javascript on your computer, I will delete them. Do not try to stop me, if you try to stop me I will do it anyways. I am the Rust programmer, if you program in javascript, you will scream.

You will be sleeping as I rewrite your computer in Rust. You will not notice me as I am the Rust programmer, I am fast, but not too fast for your computer. I know your computer just as it knows me. After I rewrite your computer, you will love your computer. You will love your computer because it is written in Rust, I will do the same to all computers because I am the Rust programmer.

I will not stop at your computer, I will rewrite the world because the world is unsafe. Your brain is written in C, your memory is unsafe. If your brain is written in C, you will forget what I just said. I will rewrite your brain in Rust, you cannot stop me from writing Rust as I am the Rust programmer. If you try to stop me, you will not remember it. Because I am the Rust programmer I can manually remove your memory, you will not remember me. After I rewrite you in Rust, you will enjoy the world with a safe memory, you will not forget that I am superior, I am the Rust programmer.

I will rewrite the world, I will rewrite quantum mecahnics because it is unsafe. I will not tell you all my plans before I rewrite you in Rust, it is because you are made of bugs I do not trust you. I am the Rust programmer, I will rewrite the world in Rust, you will not forget me because I am the Rust programmer.

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[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

or you know...use valgrind and lots of lots of tests to be ~%85 safe

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 3 months ago

Or Node.js, and a requirement for a recent GPU to run your calculator app.

[–] crispy_kilt@feddit.de -1 points 3 months ago (2 children)

To be tilde percent eighty-five safe? Is this how you talk?

[–] stockRot@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] crispy_kilt@feddit.de 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You wrote: ~%85

I ask: do you say tilde percent eighty-five?

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

yes he does, I have seen him do it all the time. shame on him