Jokes aside there's really some truth in this. I'm not sure if it's the dopamine or that I just need to disctract my mind away from the things that makes me anxious but I sure as hell don't do it because I'm horny. I don't even remember what being horny feels like.

And no, I'm not one of those nofap/pornfree fanatics. For most people there probably is not an issue there. It's only when you spend 6 hours several times a week doing something like this that you might start to consider this may not be good for you.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 20 points 7 months ago (2 children)

i mean i think the problem is less whacking one out and more the fact that it's what you have to resort to to bring some joy into your life

[–] wildwhitehorses@aussie.zone 3 points 7 months ago

It's that or be 300kg. Like not feeling horny, I swear I don't feel hunger, I just eat to be happy. There is a balance between food and fapping.

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well ofcourse it's a combination of things but I feel like there something to the theory of how overstimulation like that drains your dopamine reserves (or something) and kind of makes you numb to more mundane positive experiences.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

that really just sounds like victim blaming to me, by that logic couples that have sex often should be miserable too but the precise opposite seems to be the case

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

Well I'm the victim of my own behaviour and I'm definitely not blaming anyone else but myself. Also, there's a difference between doing something in healthy amounts and being obsessed about it. I don't know about you but personally I feel like wasting 20+ hours into porn and masturbation in a week doesn't seem healthy. It my not be the sole cause for ones problems but it's definitely not helping.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Maybe it's because you share the experience with a SO. Doing it alone can bring momentary joy and relief, but in the long run, it can't replace sex.

[–] TheActualDevil@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

How does that work, physiologically? We're talking dopamine in the brain. If what that user said was true and "overstimulation like that drains your dopamine reserves (or something)," then another person being there wouldn't make a difference.

I mean, it's because they have a misunderstanding on how brain chemistry works, obviously. Like, it can store it, but it doesn't get used up from doing things that feel good. That's what makes dopamine. And while loneliness is a problem in the general population, it's more likely that longer lasting gratification from sex isn't from the physical act or even just the physical act with another person, but the joy gained from the relationship as a whole. Pretending that there's chemically something different happening in the brain just because there is physically another person there is ridiculous. I've had plenty of unfulfilling sex with people I didn't like that didn't make me happy/content afterwards like masturbating would have.

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 0 points 7 months ago

It's reward without effort and it's dose that makes the poison.

Is smoking weed bad? What about smoking weed all day every day?

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Actually, I do believe it's true, because I went through a phase like this where I wanted nothing else but sex and I masturbated a lot. Nothing else interesred me, everything else was stupid and boring. Turns out I was depressed, got medication for that, still take it and things just got back to normal.

But, I never understood why a depressed person would want to have sex so much and masturbate a lot... until I saw this, and then it clicked. I probably just needed the dopamine fix because that was the only thing that made me feel good.

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Depression and anxiety definitely has something to do with it in my case but what's weird is that I don't have any desire for sex whatsoever. It's 100% just a habit/addiction/distraction. I hardly even get any pleasure from it and without an exception feel absolutely shit afterwards. Then I hit rock bottom and stop doing it for few weeks but as the first signs of healing start appearing meaning I can feel the tiniest amount of horniness again I then relapse and the loop starts all over again.

Been without about a week now, again, and I'm about at the point where it starts getting hard again. By it I don't mean IT.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago

Yeah, you're in a loop. You should try and get out more, when the loop starts that is. There is nothing wrong with masturbating IMO, even if it's a few times a week, or even once a day, but if you start doing it several times a day, yeah, that is somewhat not really healthy. Sure, you're keeping your prostate in check (this is mainly why I recommend anyone above 30, 35 to do it regularly), but that's not the reason why you're doing it, is it.

For me, it was mainly sex. Had a lot of quarels with my partner back then and makeup sex was the only thing I wanted... it felt weird... I've always been agressive in bed, but this time, I felt like I wanted to punish her... I really have no idea what was going on with me at that time, it was a weird period, I didn't feel like myself at all.