One of the admins at lemmy.blahaj.zone asked us to purge a community and all of its users because they thought it was full of child sexual abuse material, aka CSAM, fka kiddy porn. We assured them that we had checked this comm thoroughly and we were satisfied that all of the models on it were of age.
The admin then demanded we purge the comm because they mistook it for CSAM, and claimed that the entire point of the community was to make people think it was CSAM. We vehemently disagreed that that was in fact the point of the community, but they decided to defederate from us anyway. That is of course their choice, but we will not purge our communities or users because someone else makes a mistake of fact, and then lays the responsibility for their mistake at our feet.
If someone made a community intended to fool people into thinking it was kiddy porn, that would be a real problem. If someone of age goes online and pretends -- not roleplays, but pretends with intent to deceive -- to be a child and makes porn, that is a real problem. Nobody here is doing that.
One of the reasons we run our instance the way that we do is that we want it to be inclusive. We don't body shame, and we believe that all adults have a right to sexual expression. That means no adult on our instance is too thin, fat, bald, masculine, old, young, cis, gay, etc., to be sexy, and that includes adults that look younger than some people think they should. Everyone has a right to lust and to be lusted after. There's no way to draw a line that says "you can't like adult people that look like X" without crossing a line that we will not cross.
EDIT: OK, closing this post to new comments. Everything that needs saying has been said. Link to my convo with the blahaj admin here.
Yeah, like I'm 20 but based on my face some people think I'm 16, and other people don't. Does that magically make my partner a pedo?
Apparently, according to some, yes.
It's dumb. But, they have an opinion, so....
💀 honestly, it feels like sometimes they are so strict on it because they want to prove they aren't
it doesn't make you a pedo it just makes you creepy though
Being creepy is not a crime, calling other people "creepy" just because you don't like what they do with their lives or how they look is prejudiced though
Everyone has biases, and I don't think anyone is advocating for it to be a crime
IMO, preferences for partners should never be taboo. What you do about it can be, but the preference itself is a matter of your individual biological drive.
Some like older individuals, or individuals of the same sex, opposite sex, or somewhere in-between (something more ambiguous); some light skin, dark skin, younger, or they may find certain genetic traits common in certain regions attractive.
NONE of those preferences are wrong in and of themselves. However, in the same breath, I would say ACTING on those preferences or emphasizing specific preferences (most notably attraction to pre-pubescent individuals) is, and should be a crime. Most cultures on earth have set age guidelines for when society is satisfied that an individual is fully matured (some 18, some 16, some older than that, or even younger than that). Once that person has satisfied their societies constraints on the legality of them being sexually active, while some may find their preference uncomfortable or even creepy, provided it doesn't violate the laws, that's all it could be, is uncomfortable or creepy to other observers.
I've seen several times, people being shunned for their preference; I get it often enough. I have a preference towards lighter skinned and/or Caucasian descendent people, who are biologically female and present as such; I'm fairly cis-normative and I recognize that. however, for my preference, I've been branded a racist by some. I want to make it clear that I am not; I have no prejudice towards people based on their skin tone or culture or their heritage, they're just... not my type. I'd also say that I'm a great supporter of human rights, including the right to wed whomever you want, provided it doesn't violate the age laws of your society, regardless of who they are otherwise; and that all individuals regardless of skin color, race, religion, belief, gender identity, sex, or all other factors, should be treated fairly and equally, and with bodily autonomy.
I am an LGBTQ+ ally; and that will never change. Everyone should have the right to be as happy, or as unhappy as everyone else, with all the risks, benefits, and challenges that come with the decisions they make, same as everyone else; with the only exception being the very young who have not reached the age of maturity as governed by the culture and society in which they live, and the relevant laws therein.
Honestly, while there was a lot of progress on calling out abuse and exploitation, everything around teenagers has gotten so charged that not vocally decrying anything that is even in the neighborhood is enough to get piled on. Pornhub now pretends the teen category doesn't exist in their research analytics, most search engines block porn searches for teen, even though it's always referred to legal 18/19 year olds (or late twenties depending on how petite they are).
Like, I don't miss "creepy uncles" being a thing that everyone brushed off, but this hair trigger response is way too much.
If you look 16 you'll be too old for someone actually suffering from pedophilia. They are attracted to children before puberty has done its thing.
Even if your partner did find that attractive that would just mean that they, like the grand majority of the population, are attracted to the sexually mature/maturing 16-18 range. Something like 10 years too old to be pedophilia.
This is a statement of fact not a statement of opinion, nor a statement of acceptance or encouragement. I say this preemptively because there are always those commenters who will attack you personally because they're trying to manufacture outrage. Making it impossible to talk about real world subjects.
It can make pedos attracted to you even though they know you are 20. How. to react to that is of course up to you. But it is something to be aware of.
@Onebanana1 @tooren
You might as well argue pouring sugar in your coffee could trigger drug addicts into taking hard drugs again, because white powder.
It's the same argument. Both are equally ridiculous.
Actual abuse should be prosecuted to the fullest extent. But not because it might have incited someone else to break the law. You need an actual victim, with testimony, to conduct an investigation and a prosecution.
I think its probably fine, the only reason I look young is just relatively smooth skin and not much facial hair
TFW you don't even know what pedophilia is, but decide to have an opinion on it anyways.... ^Of course I'm sure there's a human out there that through some disease or abnormality never went through puberty, and still appear as if they are prepubescent.^
You are, however, correct in that attraction is involuntary, it is not something one is able to control, and can have attraction forced upon them.