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Dating
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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I literally asked my wife to marry me on the first date and she said yes. Getting right to the point is a woman after my own heart. Neither of us have ever dated before or, naturally, since.
We've been together for ten years.
We are also on the spectrum so that may have been a factor.
Why marriage? Can't you just start living together first?
Asking someone to marry you on the first is just stupid. Many things could not work out and marriage is a big thing. Imagine spending time and money and then find out that you are not fit together. Then you live a miserable life or fill for a divorce.
We did--After we agreed to get married, because we were quite sure, but at the same time we didn't want to impose such a stark change right away in case the change would exceed one's ability to cope with change which could lead to panic, meltdowns, etc. Neither of us handle change very well. We didn't actually get married immediately of course. She packed up a pod and moved in next. It was months before.
We also talked about having kids right away. Not having them right away! But we talked about it immediately, I think like five minutes in, because isn't it important to know?
As a counterpoint: nothing in life is without risk. I've seen friends take it slow and end up divorced, too.
The tax benefits tho :o
No kidding. My employer has top quality health insurance too, and in the USA that's a seriously big deal when your prospective partner has a health condition.
Or not marry at all?