this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
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Risa
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Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.
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Lesson #5357: If there is a large water feature anywhere near the party, find the nearest tall structure and attempt to jump from this high point into the water. Ensure that you announce your actions to as many people as possible before making your attempt. Feasibility, common sense, safety or basic mathematics is not required.
"I've dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It's funny to say they are small. It's funny to say they are big. I've been at parties where humans held bottles, pencils, thermoses in front of themselves and called out, 'Hey, look at me. I'm Mr. So-and-So Dick. I've got such-as-such for a penis.' I never saw it fail to get a laugh."