this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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I understand a fantasy and a one time thing like tipping on a guys night out at a strip club, but some of these guys think they are in a relationship with someone they will never meet and don't even know their real name or life details.

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[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 79 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

It's always been this way and yes they do.

In the 50's, women artists were literally expected to hide their partners. Dolly Parton famously got married against the wishes of her managers/producers, because she was a bad bitch who wasn't going to be pushed around and denied her own life. She was a rarity at the time.

The number of OF models who have boyfriends who never appear on cam is high. This isn't new for women in porn, this has pretty much how it has always operated. Men don't like their fantasy being destroyed by pesky details like a boyfriend.

In Kpop its definitely still a thing, and it seems like the young male fans flip the fuck out when they find out one of the women they're idolizing already has a boyfriend.

It's capitalism, baby. It teaches young men that human relationships are a financial transaction and nothing more. They absolutely do think the money they spend means something, even if they aren't an outright Incel.

Many of them will end up furious eventually, once it becomes clear they will never make it anywhere with this woman.

*shrugs

[–] Fondots@lemmy.world 34 points 9 months ago

A few years back on Reddit I remember stumbling my way into a comment thread discussing some camgirl or Instagram model, or "influencer" or something along those lines. The OP was a gif of her bouncing her boobs (and I'm not gonna lie, I clicked into the thread because boobs)

Overall the comments were pretty much what you'd expect, but one dude in particular stood out to me.

IIRC, someone made a comment about how her boyfriend was a lucky man or something to that effect, someone else commented that they had heard she was a lesbian, and that's where this particular weirdo came in, saying something essentially like "nuh-uh, I talked to her cam-to-cam and she's definitely straight."

Like it genuinely never occurred to this person that someone might not be exactly who they present themselves as online.

Now I cannot claim to know anything about that girl's personal life, she might be gay, she might be straight, she might be neither, but I can easily think of probably a dozen reasons off the top of my head why she might want to hide her sexuality, whatever it may be, from some stranger she was chatting with on the internet, ranging of fear of harassment to trying to get money out of him.

I tried to explain that to him, and he was like "yeah, I get it, but I talked to her and she's a really genuine person"

Everything just went in his one ear and right out the other.

I hope that dude never made his way into a strip club, he'd get talked into so paying for many champagne rooms and then probably go home and brag about his new girlfriend.

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's capitalism, baby. It teaches young men that human relationships are a ~~financial~~ transaction and nothing more.

I really notice that idea in movies from the 80s and 90s. The love interest leaps into the dude's arms at the end. They didn't know each other an hour ago, but she's the reward for the hero's success.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

That's where I learned from, and I learned the hard way that the crazy antics in those movies just get you a restraining order!

[–] Pratai@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 months ago

There is nothing positive that comes from the existence of simps.