this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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I think about this a lot actually. That whole new kind of fucked up shows us that our parents had good intentions, they thought they were doing better.
I, too, thought a lot about this.
Having kids now and reflecting on my childhood, it's extremely obvious that my parents truly had the best intentions and tried their best.
But they, too, are fallible and made mistakes.
Some of those mistakes were due to a lack of knowledge or bad advice they received. I think that nowadays, thanks to the internet, it's quite feasible to get much better advice. On the other hand, there is also a lot of disinformation.
I am optimistic that each generation will get better, because knowledge tends to accumulate and humanity tends to improve over time.
But perfection is still far away in a distant future.
I thought this too but then it didn't in a lot of ways and did in some. If we do our best and try to spread that to our kids and our circles, that's the only way. I never in a million years thought we would go so far backwards on so many issues like civil rights, abortion and worker's rights. I know it would be a roller coaster but I didn't think the dips would be that far down.
Yeah, but that's not because of generational progress.
Many civil rights in the USA weren't properly arranged for through democratic laws, but by Supreme Court decisions.
They were always at risk. Once you achieve the same level of progress through electoral majorities, they are much more stable and secure.
As for workers rights and inequality, there is a similar story. Between the great depression and globalization there was a time of great progress, but it was never sustainable.
It only occurred because two world wars and a great depression left the world in tatters and destroyed the power of the wealthy, while the Western world still fully enjoyed the fruits of colonialism. Western Middle classes suddenly had all the power for a brief moment in time.
Now, we will have to figure out how to create real equality, without exploiting other countries and without relying on war and depression to break the power of the rich.
Those are all great points, but being young and naive, I didn't think we the people would actually let all of the backwards things happen. I agree about the real equality. Is this a human thing to take everything for granted, go backwards and then have hope to change it to a place where we'll take it for granted again? When we look at the MIddle East, I kind of think it is. But it can be a super quick process or a slow process, depending on what you're born into.
With humanity, it's always two steps forward, one step back.
The USA ended slavery, then introduced segregation and share cropping.
They ended segregation, then started the war on drugs to imprison minorities.
They elected a black man, then a fascist.
Similar things can be seen in other countries. Russia got rid of communism, then elected Putin. China opened up, now they have a dictator.
But, in general, the direction is forward.
I think that's what I'm saying, I thought it would always go forward. But as you say, it's "in general," I wasn't prepared for the 4 steps back.
Then better start getting ready for the barrel roll
I’m convinced that the intentions you have don’t mater that much. It’s how well you’ve managed to solve your own problems that determines how fucked up your kid is going to be.
This is why I appreciate therapy. It's a tool for better parenting, in a way.
It doesn't make sense when you're young .... but the older you get, the more you realize that everyone is just making shit up as they go along.
It's made me realize after a long life that my parents were no smarter (or no dumber) than me.
It's just that as children, we look up to our parents and think that they should be smarter than everyone else but in reality, they never were. It doesn't mean that they were dumb either ... it's just that people are people, including your parents.
If people remembered their parents are people too, lots of shit would make sense pretty fast to everyone in the world
Absolutely, my mother thought she was doing great by parenting me to live the childhood she never could, problem was, I was my own person, and absolutely not interested in experiencing all the things she never could.
My dad on the other hand treated me akin to a roommate (his words), which is not ideal for a teenager trying to learn basic life skills.
I don't have kids but a lot of my friends do, I have hope for that generation of kids.
I wish I could adopt the mindset of them having good intentions and whatnot, but sometimes parents really shouldn't have been parents and are just truly shitty people.
I didn't mean to discount that experience. My parents were shitty sometimes but they really did love us, I know that's not always the case.
Nah it's okay! I only said something so that any other people reading the thread who relate could feel like they were heard/seen, I guess? I didn't think you were discounting it at all.
To me it seems late 90s/early 2000s parents went overboard with helicopter parenting and ignored kids online presence due to their lack of understanding of the Internet.
Then late 00s 10s parents doubled down on Internet and tech ignorance.