miz_nocturnal

Just got the news last week that my dad, who was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in October, might have 5-7 months left. Plus my mom is slowly dying from COPD. I’m trying to stay positive and spend what might be the last Christmas we get with them. But to say I’m not feeling the happy new year vibes is an understatement. Only death and more depression coming in 2024.

A horror movie called It’s Alive. I was 5 years old. My mom would rent horror movies without checking the ratings and I’d watch them. Even after this I always loved horror and never had nightmares or anything. But, I rewatched It’s Alive a few years ago and it is definitely not for kids… But honestly the craziest thing my mom rented was The Toxic Avenger, when I was maybe 10. She never saw it herself it so still has no idea what she allowed me to watch at a young age!

I found out the difference between just normal dislike and phobias a few years ago. I dislike insects and they make me jumpy but I wasn’t terrified of any of them, even spiders. Until I had an encounter with giant carpenter ants, both the normal ones and the ones with wings.

I was living in my RV and apparently it was their nesting season, and I come from a different province and normally never see large ants like these. I kept finding them everywhere in my trailer, these giant ants, like I’d open a drawer and pull out a dish cloth and one would be underneath it. I was crying hysterically and shaking and I would rather have died than come across another one. It went on for about 3 days, I barely slept because the fuckers were crawling all over the ceiling and walls at night.

I went and picked up ant killer spray and went scorched earth on them. Within a day there were dozens of dead ones inside the trailer and probably thousands outside in the gravel. It was crazy. Neighbouring campers had these ants too, I guess it was normal nesting season there and no one worried about it much. They started to comment that the ants were disappearing earlier. I didn’t tell them it was me lol. But yeah, I have a phobia I wasn’t expecting and I lose my shit when I see them to this day.

I’m very sure I’ll be able to contribute to this conversation at the end of the semester. I have an Organizational Behavior class and the teacher is a prick, narcissist and a bully. Treating us adults like we are misbehaving children and gaslighting us every class.

It’s interesting how it affects people differently. When I lost my sense of smell with COVID, bad smells were the last to return. I could smell everything else but couldn’t smell bathroom smells, eggs, skunk, or weed (debatable if the last one is bad or not, but either way it was gone). It was nice, I was hoping to only smell nice things forever, but it came back.

Cold Pursuit

I saw it in theatres and I remember people weren’t laughing and some were walking out because they were bored. I can guarantee that all of them saw Liam Neeson was the lead and were expecting another action packed Taken type movie. What we got instead was a movie reminiscent of Fargo or The Big Lebowski. It’s absolutely hilarious, I’ve watched it many times and I’ve shown friends this one and they’ve all loved it. Highly recommend!

This might sound weird but a bowl of milk and sliced banana always calms me down and makes me sleepy

Thanks. I have had a relatively drama free life, so this was a pretty significant event for me. I met an amazing man a year later and have been married to him 8 years now. But I still think about this from time to time and feel sad, and I guess a bit of guilt (which I know I shouldn’t). I realize this guy had a lot going on besides our brief relationship to take his own life but it’s still difficult feeling like I had a part in it.

It was 2010, and after dating a guy briefly for 3 weeks and noticing some red flags I made the mistake of breaking up with him while giving him a ride home. I wasn’t expecting what came next. He started yelling at me to pull over so I did. He yanks the keys out of the ignition and I try to grab them and he pulls me out over the center console through the passenger side and I land on the gravel road in a skirt. I get up and he grabs me by the shoulders and starts yelling at me (I don’t even remember what because I was crying so hard in fear). Then his demeanour changes for a split second and he’s like “why are you afraid of me, I’d never hurt you.” I had bruises on my legs for weeks after landing on the ground. His whole thing was jealousy and that’s part of why I was breaking up with him. He thought it wasn’t possible id wanna break up with him so I must be cheating and just randomly started naming names of guys he knew I was friends with.

He tells me to get in the car, and I have no choice because I’m terrified of him and we are in the middle of a country road. He starts driving us back to the city and that’s when I realized where he was going. He picked one of my guy friends that he knows where he lives and is going to confront him over cheating that never happened. He knew the general area where this friend lived but not the house. When we got close and had to stop at an intersection, I took off my seatbelt, opened the door, and started running. I hear the sound of my own cars tires screech as he chases me. I saw a house with a door open and ran inside, there was an older couple there unloading groceries. I locked myself in their bathroom and they called the cops. He left my car and the keys with the couple and walked away before the cops arrived.

I never talked to him again and got a cryptic message on Facebook from him a few months later apologizing. Then a few more months later a friend called me to tell me he had killed himself. It still haunts me thinking about the entire experience.

I’m in Canada. We’ve never gotten junk mail because our mail delivery person put a green sticker inside the box that says no flyers. We never asked for it, it was always just there. When they upgraded the mail boxes, they put new stickers in too. It’s awesome.

I finished my first semester of software development school last week. I struggled with c# programming and at one point a couple months ago I was so upset I seriously considered dropping out. But I kept at it and handed in assignments, not confident in my code. Anyways, I just got my final marks back and I got A+ in that course… and all my other courses too!

Also… I’ve been depressed for 2 days, I think I needed this post to remind me of the good things in life. I’m enjoying reading everyone’s answers!

The old turn it off and turn it back on solution, i always forget it exists… I should have tried it first!