ContrarianTrail

joined 3 weeks ago
[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

My motivation here is only to probe on what other people really think of when using that word, so that I know what they really mean by it

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 5 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

That makes sense. In my mind the definition never really evolved as I tend to take words literally and think of it more as a category, like "red heads" rather than as an ideological group. I guess that would technically make them a subgroup of incels.

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee -1 points 9 hours ago

But the term itself implies the former

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I'm sure that's true in some cases, but I wouldn't generalize it as the explanation for most incel's situations that they simply had too unrealistic standards

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 0 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe they should be called far-incels

 

Is it simply: involuntarily celibate, or does it come with a package?

To me, "incel" has always meant someone who’s simply just celibate against their will, but it feels like the term now also implies a specific worldview or even a subculture. Does identifying as an incel automatically come with those negative beliefs around gender and society, or should those two have separate terms? Has the definition changed?"

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 6 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

Your typical incel is that quiet guy in school with bad skin, plain clothes, and oily hair, whose only friends were the other outcasts. Like everyone else, they just wanted a normal relationship with a normal woman. It's the repeated failure to form those relationships that leads to the resentment and anger we now see. They weren’t always like that. The bitterness and hatred is a coping mechanism for their situation, not the cause of it.

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 6 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I think you're being a bit unfair there. These attitudes often stem from their inability to form relationships. The struggle came first, and the resentment followed. They aren’t without sex and relationships because they're inherently hateful people; rather, the hatred emerges from prolonged frustration and rejection.

In most cases, I believe the inability to get into relationships is less about character and more about factors like social awkwardness, lack of friends, poor hygiene, unfortunate genetics, spending too much time online or gaming, etc.

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Were I complaining?

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 9 points 10 hours ago (5 children)

I don't think that's fair. It's not just sex they are after; they want a relationship but are unable to get into one.

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 5 points 10 hours ago (6 children)

I asked chatGPT to extract the question from that as I struggled to pinpoint it myself. I'll put it here as I'm probably not the only one wondering. So it seems like what OP is asking is (correct me if I'm wrong):

How do you adjust or change your beliefs (about capitalism, communism, libertarianism, or other ideologies) to deal with the fact that some people or countries naturally have more advantages than others?

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 14 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Nothing wrong with asking as long as you're also willing to accept no as an answer. If you're going to attack them for refusing, then it wasn't really a question in the first place but rather a demand masked as one.

Also, I'm not sure if this is the correct community to ask this.

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 10 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (12 children)

Depends on which definition you go by, I guess. I prefer the literal meaning of the word; involuntary celibate. A person who is celibate against their own will.

 

There's no freedom in having to do something but you're also not free to choose your wants.

Maybe it's better to just live and let life happen instead of thinking about what could've been. What ever happened is the only thing that could've happened.

 

I can only imagine the difference it would make if instead of telling about your idea you could show it

 
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