Brisket

There was a really good Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game a few years back. Shredder's Revenge I think? Felt like the old arcade game.

You've described like...half the IT guys I've worked with over the years. You've got them on one side, and the super awesome, slap you on the back fun IT guy. Nothing in between.

Then we've got the weights, sometimes pounds, sometimes kilograms. Almost always grams, though.