this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
26 points (79.5% liked)

Asklemmy

43133 readers
1802 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
26
submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by ULS@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

What do you think is best for a poor just coming out gay guy in his 30s trying to escape the things that come with street life. I am also more interested in older people than people my own age. Afaik there is no place for me.

I fully assume I'll end up homeless but I have to leave.

I'm open to other areas too. Definitely away from north east/new England. Preferably away from East Coast.... Preferably near the ocean or a good lake... I don't want to be stuck in crime or around homophobes.

top 20 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] zeusbottom@sh.itjust.works 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

ABQ is not quite Wild West, but you do need to watch yourself there. Good farmers’ market and plenty of Native influence.

Columbus downtown seemed like a nice Midwestern spot, touch of Rust Belt, heavy on Buckeye mania of course. Seemed really quiet when I visited many summers ago.

Have you considered Chicago? Boystown is a great neighborhood. Kinda wished I’d lived there even though I’m not LGBTQ. I think it’s still relatively low crime. But I’m sure you’ll want to do (or have done) your own homework on that.

[–] ULS@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I kinda of thought about Chicago. I'm trying to stay away from the bigger cities for now. Even Cleveland OH.

[–] funkforager@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 months ago

Columbus is a bigger population than Cleveland. It’s kind of the bigger city these days.

I was going to say that if you want a lake then you want Cleveland, not Columbus. Also there is an inner suburb of Cleveland called Lakewood you should check out. It has a great LGBTQ+ scene (for a smaller city) and is super welcoming in that friendly midwestern way.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

FWIW I don't think you're going to find a more progressive region to live outside of New England

[–] ULS@lemmy.ml 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Either way way I know I'm definitely not wanted in New England/northeast. I wouldn't be looking to move if that weren't the case.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

Why do you think that is?

[–] Chef_Boyargee@beehaw.org 7 points 7 months ago

Albuquerque is… Albuquerque. The food is diverse, the lgbtq+ scene is surprisingly robust, and there’s a lot to do if you’re into outdoorsy things. Nightlife is a bit limited and there’s pockets of crime all over, but you learn which areas to avoid pretty quickly. The zoo is world-class, and the museums are great. There’s history in Albuquerque and all over the state.

I can’t speak on the merits or lack thereof for Columbus, but I have known people to willingly move there.

[–] PlasticPigeon@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Sounds less like a positive move and more like a run from problems.

You will find the same problems in the next region, if you live there long enough.

Speaking from someone who has been in 13 schools and moved even more than that.

[–] FriendOfElphaba@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It really seems like you might have bigger issues than deciding between Albuquerque and Columbus. I can tell you about ABQ, but maybe you can give some more details about what’s pushing you to move, and why you’d look at those two cities in particular.

[–] ULS@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

They seemed cheap and open to LGBT.

[–] FriendOfElphaba@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago

I’d feel like you could get better advice if you give more details, and maybe ask about LGBT friendly cities in some of the LGBT communities.

ABQ isn’t bad, but it’s not homeless friendly, and it gets cold in the winter. You could live outside of Albuquerque in the east mountains for relatively cheap but would need a vehicle to get into town.

But seriously, there’s more going on there that I think you might be able to use advice on.

[–] BadNewsNobody@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Columbus has Dirty Frank's Hot Dog Palace which makes it a far superior choice.

[–] Bldck@beehaw.org 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Columbus is a great little city in a not so great state. The local politics are quite progressive and the food and bar scene is quite nice. There was a decently sized queer community when I lived there a decade ago, and I’d expect it to continue to flourish as long as a major university is nearby.

Winters are cold. Summers are hot. The weather is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–] ULS@lemmy.ml 3 points 7 months ago

Sounds like where I live now but more open minded. I'm just hoping to at least find a better place than where I am. Even the winter in Columbus look to be half of what I'm used to... According the almanac or w/e they use.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 months ago

Portland, OR?

[–] Scary_le_Poo@beehaw.org 1 points 7 months ago

Los Angeles is great. Col is high, but wages are generally relatively high as well. Col in the high desert area is much lower.

If you can get a 15$/hr job (minimum wage in CA is 15) and rent a room somewhere nearby for 500 bucks, you can do pretty well for yourself if you budget your money.

[–] Telodzrum@lemmy.world -4 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Columbus is basically the only cool city in all of Ohio and Albuquerque is a dangerous shithole. Between these two, Columbus is the far better option.

[–] joelectron@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

What's your definition of "cool city?" I'm biased since I live there, but I'd say that Cleveland seems much cooler to me: ethnic neighborhoods/food, public transportation, lower CoL, vibrant queer communities, being on Lake Erie, and more.

[–] ULS@lemmy.ml 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] PeepinGoodArgs@reddthat.com 1 points 7 months ago

In a sense, yes. (Not OP)

I currently live in Santa Fe, and hear a lot about the crime in Santa Fe. I have friends who live there that corroborate crime statistics that say it's mostly property crime. But I damn sure wouldn't go around messing with people; violent crime is high, too.

I lived in Columbus Ohio for a few months once, finishing my last semester at OSU. Stay away from campus when there are football games. People are...lethargic or something...

But otherwise, I'd say Columbus is probably the better of the two. Crime didn't seem to be as bad there as it is in Albuquerque.