this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
594 points (97.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

32340 readers
3389 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 5) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

"and yet your dad still don't love you."

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

That's quiet an expensive way to look cheap

[–] knight_alva@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

So you are fiscally irresponsible and you are proud of it? Good to know…

I wouldn't even hide that watch up my ass.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

[–] doug@lemmy.today 8 points 1 week ago

“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”

[–] hansolo@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Yes, your fancy jewelry is very pretty. Good job."

Edit: after I stopped laughing, of course.

[–] Arigion@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago

I can afford not to have a watch.

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago

What is it for?

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

don't. make a "oh poor guy" face and move on. he wants you to engage, to be angry, if you don't he will be mad

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago

"What's your point?"

[–] Leonixster@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago

A lot of replies here still wander into sounding mad imo Instead, I would fake not getting the insult and just make them uncomfortable by saying something like "Wow that's cool :D" and then just move on. Sort of like when you acknowledge a child doing something dumb but they're so proud of it you don't want to ruin it for them.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Your pathetic status symbols only show how anxious and insecure you are.

[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 week ago

"Oh, well this gun costs less than your watch, and yet: hand it over."

[–] Fontasia@feddit.nl 6 points 1 week ago

Will your regular charge you half price when she doesn't see you wearing it?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 1 week ago

steals his watch

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

That's not a very high bar, boomer.

[–] Deme@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Quite a low bar considering that I don't need a car of my own.

[–] TheDemonBuer@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I couldn't care less.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

this movie, glengarry glen ross, was so fucking good. definitely worth a watch if you enjoy watching masterpiece acting. kevin spacey is in it though (his acting is great he just sucks as a person)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

'I can think of many better uses for the metals in that watch.'

Bragging is lower-class behavior

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 5 points 1 week ago

That watch salesman really ripped you off then.

[–] Tja@programming.dev 5 points 1 week ago

Smile and say "it's very pretty".

[–] Mvlad88@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Ok, and what's your question?

[–] 13igTyme@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

"What a horrible financial decision"

[–] Naz@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

"Okay and does it tell the time?"

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

This isn't a car

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The doom-slab in my contains rocks forced to think with lasers and it's cheap enough that I can lose or drop without shedding a tear. And you know the best part ? It tells time 3 orders of magnitude more accurately than you watch.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

What time is it?

Jokes on you, with the deferred maintenance, my car has negative worth.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Big deal- I also have a small cock."

No wait I wanna change it to "I have a small cock too, but nobody can tell just by looking at me"

Shoot the man.

[–] 58008@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Good for you man, that's a really great watch 😊

Sad little men like that are most hurt by you not being offended by them. It's like with internet trolls; non-engagement is the best weapon. It also happens to require the least amount of energy or time. So easy, but so devastating to their ego.

[–] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

"your wife is still sleeping with the pool boy"

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago
load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›