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Humanity, Fuck Yeah!

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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/OriginalButtopia on 2024-12-25 04:09:57+00:00.


First Chapter | Previous Chapter

The brothers helped me into the transport once they returned from their exploration. They’d found several gems they thought might be useful but not a single other monster. Elicec believed the big thing had been consuming everything else that came near, which explained why it immediately attacked us. They had jumped up to the mid-seventies in levels as well and were pretty happy about that. I was just glad for the comfort of the transport’s seats. I was going to need at least a day off, possibly two before we did another dungeon, but hey, at least we weren’t dead. Mel couldn’t yell at us for that one.

Sadly, playing around in the simulator likely wasn’t worth it yet. None of the dungeons had enough monsters in a way that I could abuse them, being weaker for mass amounts of experience. I needed some dungeons that gave me fights with higher base amounts of experience. Fights I could win would also be preferable.

The trip soon came to an end and we walked back into the adventurer hall, some of us better than others, ready to tell Mel of our new success. Instead, there was a very human-looking man sitting in front of Mel’s usual counter with Mel floating behind him. Mel's eyes kept darting between us, the newcomer. Something was up.

“Ah, Mr. Imogen and his teammates Cecile and Elicec, glad to see you’ve returned in one piece. Your local adventurer hall representative was kind enough to let me wait here with him for your return,” the man spoke first.

“Thanks, but it’s mostly only true on the outside. Some things are still fixing themselves internally. Is there something we can help you with?” I asked, paying close attention to Mel’s eyes. They seemed to be screaming for me to be careful.

“Mostly you, but as I understand, you are officially registered as a team, so it is perhaps best if they hear this as well. It has come to the attention of certain interested parties that the prisoner universe of Sanquar has been connected to Spiral, and you, Mr. Imogen, are from that universe. I’m here to offer you some assistance. I’ve been told that you are doing remarkably well so far despite some unsavory influences initially.” I was sure he was talking about Elody, and as much as I wanted to call him on it, Mel’s eyes continued their silent pleas.

“Thanks again, we’re trying our best,” I said. Would he notice if I upped my presence in the middle of this conversation? Probably best not to risk it.

“Yes, and I would like you to continue to do so. In a couple of months, we should have this whole Sanquar issue entirely under wraps, and when that happens, I’d like to sponsor you for the Arena. How does that sound?” Mel’s eyes quickly dart from side to side.

“Well, it sounds nice and all, I haven’t fully decided if the Arena is something I want to do. Any chance I could think on til you take care of the other problem, and we could discuss it then?” I asked, stamping my foot down, with what I was sure was much more pain for me than him, onto Cecile’s foot when he started to speak.

“We’ve been debating about possibly going down the dungeon raiding path instead of the Arena climbing,” Elicec said, helping me cover up whatever Cecile had been about to say.

“Oh, that would be a great path, too. Either way, I believe my sponsorship would be of great benefit. Thank you for understanding, and I’m glad this was such an easy conversation. I look forward to our next meeting. It’s been great seeing you again as well, Mel. Goodbye, gentlemen,” the man said, disappearing in a flash of light.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Mel held up his hand to stop me. Several smaller Mel forms broke off from his main body and began floating all over the room. Each of them was emitting a small light from its eyes as it moved. I pulled out a chair and sat down as we waited, the pain in my body no longer letting me stay standing. It took nearly half an hour, but finally, all the little clouds returned to his main body.

“Alright, it’s safe to speak now; good job. I really thought we were screwed there for a minute. I had no idea you were so capable of going toe to toe with someone like him,” Mel said. I had no idea exactly what he was talking about.

“I didn’t know there was another Twinog in the greater Spiral. I thought we were the only ones. And why’d you stop me from talking anyway, Dave? I just wanted to know which village he was from,” Cecile said. So the man wasn’t a human after all, he was just appearing that way to me.

“That wasn’t a Twinog Cecile. You have to invest some points into interactions, brother. I can’t always be saving you from every charlatan that comes along,” Elicec said.

“I think there might be a second way if it helps Cecile. Extreme pain will make it harder for them to manipulate you. I have nothing invested in my interaction attributes either, and I thought he was human until your brother said something. Here’s to a broken spine. Apparently, it’s sometimes useful,” I said sarcastically. The pain was not worth the trade-off.

“He certainly ain’t human or twinog, and I couldn’t even say for sure if he was a man, but that’s what I’ve always known Korl as, so it’s the best I have for you. Good job at not giving him any definite answers. I don’t think he had any binding fields up, but still best practice to be very careful how you talk to these types. So, what are your plans now? Looks like you do have the option to stay here and ride out this whole mess. Probably a lot more likely to keep you alive, too,” Mel said. If Mel was implying I was remotely interested in Korl’s offer, he was incredibly wrong.

“Nothing has changed. I assume Pryte knew this was coming and why he gave me the warning. I also assume you had some idea as well, but can’t say anything due to how you got it. We have a few weeks remaining, then we have to go back to Earth, deal with the Orcish invasion and then figure out whatever comes next with Sanquar,” I said. The priority, as it had always been, was saving my family and the planet.

“Glad to hear it, and yeah you’re on the right track there with your assumptions. That guy and who he represents are slimy as hell, but they have far more power and resources than anything we can dream of, so right now, the only thing keeping y’all safe is carefully staying inside the bounds of the law. Remember what Elody did? Make sure you read any documents that anyone gives you in detail, and then have Elicec double-check it. That goes twice for you, Cecile, no offense intended, but it just ain’t your specialty,” Mel said.

“No, I understand. I really thought that guy was another twinog,” Cecile said despondently. 

“It’s alright, Cecile, we all make our mistakes. Nothing bad happened here, so it’s just a good learning experience now, guys. As much as I want to stay and discuss this as if nothing has really changed, I desperately need to lay down and heal,” I said, tired, hungry, and in excruciating pain.

“No, you should be good to go get some rest, Dave. Cecile and Elicec can go over the report with me. I’ll send some food up to your room; try to get as much down as you can. It’ll help keep your strength up as you heal, and you’re going to need everything you've got for the desert. There’s no avoiding that future now,” Mel said.

“Thanks. I hope it goes better than you’re worried it will,” I said as I made my escape back to my bed. 

I stepped into my room to find a strange small creature asleep on my bed, with a note next to it. The creature looked up and made a low purring sound. It looked something like a cat if you crossed it with a monkey. Where had it come from? I sat down and grabbed the note likely to contain the answer to my question.

Dave,

This is a forest pumakey, they come from one of the fringe worlds of the Spiral that are considered to have no intelligent life. I strongly disagree with this assessment, and I recently saved this little guy from a black market trade. As I have nowhere safe to send him at the moment, I thought you might like the company. You’re both strangers stuck somewhere you never wanted to be. He should be fine eating mostly the same diet you do. Just make sure he gets some extra protein. 

Elody,

Paladin of Knowledge

I reached over and scratched the little guy behind his ear, causing him to stand up and rub his head against my leg. Elody was right; I already liked the company. “Hey, little guy, I didn’t see a name anywhere in Elody’s letter. Do you have one already?” I asked, not expecting any answer and none came. “Well, I’ll have to think something up then. In the meantime, wanna join me in eating all this food?” I pointed to the dishes that covered my desk and bedside table.

He must have understood something I was saying because, within a second of my offer, he had leaped off the bed onto my desk and started devouring one of the pieces of the roast fish whole. He wasn’t nearly so cute with those razor-sharp claws in full view, but as long as he didn’t use them on me, he was welcome to stay. Would he handle an Alaskan winter okay?

*Dungeon raiding is a completely, if much lesser used these days, viable path for anyone within the Spiral. It is a trade in desperate need of more young blood as the lure of the Arena takes most newcomers to t...


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