this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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On Friday, New York Police Commissioner Jessica Tisch told media that authorities now believe the suspect accused of shooting and killing UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson is no longer in New York City, and promptly fled on a bus after the murder.

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[–] Sludgehammer@lemmy.world 250 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Man what a responsible individual. E-bike rentals, mass transit, killing parasitic CEO's, this guy seems to be fairly eco-friendly.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 73 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

He didn't compost the body though. 😔

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 60 points 2 weeks ago

He did the best he could with the constraints he had.

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He can't do everything. We all must pitch in to help eat the elephant.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

What would happen if we all went tinkle on his grave? Would that help composting?

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago

Only one way to find out.

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Not really, I don't think urine is a very microbe friendly environment.

[–] Wiz@midwest.social 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's a misconception. Typical healthy urine has microbe flora, most of which are helpful.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6605016/

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Are you also not supposed to urinate on jellyfish stings then?

[–] Wiz@midwest.social 2 points 1 week ago

Well you can if you want. It just won't help the sting.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Then why am I washing my hands after I go pee?

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[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 22 points 2 weeks ago

I think we can forgive such a minor transgression.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 90 points 2 weeks ago

I heard they're hiding out in a billionaire's house. The police better raid and thoroughly search all of those.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 87 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Good. I hope he's since gotten on a plane and is chilling on a beach in a non-extradition country right now.

The Adjuster. True American Hero.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 70 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He's probably sailing so his carbon footprint stays low.

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Sailing would keep his emissions low but a sailboat has a giant footprint

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Unless he made the sailboat himself out of recycled materials!

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

Shipwrights hate this one neat trick!

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Compared to a jumbo jet?

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe he should sail the boat on the water instead of wearing it on his feet like shoes

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 73 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

That's not what I heard, pretty sure he's still in NYC.

Unless he is, in which case he definitely fled the country.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It's mostly the police saying they spotted a man who fit the description enter a bus station and not be seen leaving it. He's probably going to a variety of US based places at the moment, but he should leave the county ASAP in case DNA points to the actual suspect and he gets put on a no fly list. P

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

DNA only helps if he's already in the system for some reason, like a previous crime. Or I suppose if he's ever used one of those DNA ancestry things. I bet the police have access to that, whether they're supposed to or not.

And for a no fly list, they need to know who it is first. If they knew that, we'd probably know as well since they're clearly trying to cast the net as wide as possible.

[–] ShadowRam@fedia.io 39 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

DNA only helps if he's already in the system for some reason

Noooope....

He simply needs some family that contributed to 23andMe or similar, to narrow it down.

That's enough for a Judge to force them to hand over a DNA sample for comparison.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

People online always want to assume everyone has large families for some reason. Most people don't have a huge extended family. Only children with small extended families are pretty common.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

As far as I know, my sperm donor doesn't have a huge family. All it takes is your one sibling to take a genetics test to no longer be an anonymous sperm donor. Same applies here. It just takes one.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 5 points 2 weeks ago

Pretty sure they have everyone's DNA by now, between all the ancestry databases and the like.

[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

That assumes they were able to collect DNA from the scene. Which is a public street in the largest city in the country.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

I heard he's hanging out the mole men in the sewers. The cops better check every pipe.

[–] Ep1cFac3pa1m@lemmy.world 69 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

fled

Pretty sure he just kinda left. Probably could’ve been high-fiving people on the way out.

[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Now I want to see The Adjuster, the musical, escape scene

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 43 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No idea why you linked "wiki news" instead of one of the articles it cited...

UnitedHealth Group said it was focused on supporting Thompson’s family, ensuring the safety of employees and assisting investigators. “While our hearts are broken, we have been touched by the huge outpouring,” the company said.

But that gave me a chuckle, there has definitely been a huge outpouring, and I liked how their comment omits what exactly people have been saying, just that they're saying stuff.

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I’m into the wikinews link for this subject, for some reason.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

If you meant because of the quote, it's from one of the articles...

The wikinees link was like two paragraphs with no info

[–] Idontevenknowanymore@mander.xyz 42 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Pretty sure I saw him in Nunavut. They should send the investigators there.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bro he is in the Sahel right now

[–] Idontevenknowanymore@mander.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe they should comb the desert.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

All they found was Tuvix

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

He was definitely in Imperial Beach last night. Said something about Zihuatanejo. Might find him in Mexico at this point.

[–] NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Lol more convinced than ever they're following some Canadian/Vermont kid on a bus trip back north, just because he stopped a night in a NY hostel and wore the wrong type of jacket on his morning coffee run.

[–] intresteph@discuss.online 10 points 2 weeks ago

Haha, yeah that’s probably it. We should all buy grey hoodies now just to throw them off

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Imagine the kid is doing just normal kid things and all the cops on the stakeout are like: "Sir, he's assembling the lego millenium Falcon... menacingly"

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I wonder how difficult it would be to simply blend in with the homeless for a few weeks. They're pretty much invisible.

[–] alphabethunter@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I imagine you could buy a bunch of similar Jackets and distribute them to the homeless in an area prior to doing anything, and just crash with them for some time after.

[–] grissino@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I always thought that this clip was too outrageous to be realistic...

I guess that I stand corrected!

(You can skip to 1:30)

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What is this wiki news, some kind of hacker website?