this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2023
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Gaming

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So, hear me out.

I'm a 47 year old guy and I'm not ashamed to say that I enjoy video games. I always have, from playing Head over Heels on a Speccy +2 to ESO and Valorant on my self built PC.

Due to various life circumstances, I'm also on the dating scene and to most women I meet, around my age, video games are anathema. When I say that I like them it's usually meet with an "oh dear" or a "my son would probably love to talk to you about them, I find them really boring"

I have two boys, both teenagers, both play all the time and sometimes we all play together (although they are better as they have more time to apply to games). Their friends are amazed that I will talk about games with them, that I know someone about games and that I play games. None of their parents want to talk with them about what is effectively their main hobby that they do all the time (big sad).

So the question, there must be some sort of cut off age at which video games are no longer an acceptable pastime. Is it absolute age based (nothing after 35) or is it something to do with the progression of games into popular culture and people born after, say, 1986 will not see it as unacceptable?

I don't have an answer, I just think it's an interesting question. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!

Edit to add: I'm not planning on stopping through peer pressure, just wondering about the phenomenon!

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[–] Suspiciousbrowsing@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

The discussions about gaming (you're too old / it's for kids etc.) really shit me. If you want to talk about volume of screentime, that's perfectly reasonable. But if I chose to game instead of watch a movie / sports game / be on my phone, then that's my choice.

[–] Sneckster@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

1976 boy here. Grew up playing on the BBC and sat waiting patiently for starfield.

Never too old.

Other people's judgement should never get in the way of a good hobby and giving yourself downtime.

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[–] IHeartBadCode@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago
[–] hyperhearse@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

enjoy your games man! i feel like ppl find it nerdy or look at it like it's a "no life" kinda hobby, which is pretty bs. there's far worse things you could be doing in your spare time. gaming has been my thing since i was like 5. im gonna be 31 this year and i don't intend to stop for anybody. i just don't think she can appreciate what it is and that's okay too. there's plenty of other gamer ladies out there. keep your chin up!

[–] realitista@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

I'm 50. I just don't talk about it unless I secretly find out that my friends game. Acually a lot of them do. But, yeah, I don't talk to girls about it. Though sometimes you might find one that's into it.

[–] Warped@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I did work for a company who ran various care homes across the country. Some for people with ill health, some just for old age. The changes care homes were having to adapt to was interesting. Not only more openly gay relationships, various different religions, etc... But also a vastly different array of hobbies, and that for some included gaming. This meant care homes having to upgrade internet/wifi, and many other adaptions. Some used handheld games machines, or mobile phones. A couple had PCs. I don't recall seeing any Mac's. A few had games machines. One elderly lady adored her original Gameboy. So it does take all sorts.

Now I'm the same age as you, so I can recall growing up and 99% of girls at school just switched off at talk of the latest game for the Spectrum 48k. We would get called geek, and other names. To a point, the stereotype will stick with some people as they grow up. But I find many, regardless of gender, do or will play games. Even if it's some form of Snake of their phone. Or maybe board games. It's all about having fun, pure and simple. Maybe they have fun in other ways. Maybe you're not compatible? I have always had the rules that a future partner would need to enjoy games at some level, mobile phone, board games, card games, etc... Have to own books and read. Have a love of music. Beyond that, it's negotiable.

So an age limit on games, nah!

[–] Anomander@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

But also a vastly different array of hobbies, and that for some included gaming. This meant care homes having to upgrade internet/wifi, and many other adaptions.

I remember my grandpa being furious that the seniors-only complex they moved into had shit internet, maybe a decade ago. The whole complex was running off a single residential line - like they bought a good package, but still - and that was fine for residents checking email and stuff, but it meant he was stuck taking a day or two to download each Flight Sim update.

[–] zaktmt@beehaw.org 1 points 2 years ago

I think there are some people who get out of touch due to things like kids or work and it was just seen as something you grow out of. But I think people generally have more of a work/life balance now. And they also realize that you can play games with kids when they are old enough.

I know for me personally, what will most likely happen is that I will always love and cherish video games as an artform no matter what. What will change is the amount of time I have to play.

As long as you are still enjoying gaming. Keep going!

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 years ago

So the question, there must be some sort of cut off age at which video games are no longer an acceptable pastime.

When you no longer enjoy it

[–] Venutianxspring@lemmy.fmhy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

I'm almost 40 and still game regularly, although not as much as I would like. I treat it like anything else and honestly couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about it. If you enjoy gaming then don't let anyone stop you.

[–] freakrho@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago

what i see today is games are super accessible and everyone owns a portable gaming device, my parents are over 60 and they both play games on their phones, although they would't consider themselves gamers or anything close

i think the barrier to entry on core games gets higher with age so casual games on phones fit nicely within that demographic

[–] SevenSwell@beehaw.org 1 points 2 years ago

My partner and her mom both play games, way more than me. They're out there!

[–] bermuda@beehaw.org 1 points 2 years ago

My dad's 50, about to be 51 and I've never seen anybody "shame" him for gaming. It's pretty much all he does when he's not working or doing chores around the house. He used to have a tight circle of gaming buddies but they're all spread around different time zones now so it's hard to get them together.

[–] JDPoZ@beehaw.org 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Stealing my old comment from the place that shall not be named in response to a similar question asked there by someone in a comparable situation to share here due to relevancy - A person had replied to the OP question declaring that "women didn't respect men's hobbies" so I said :


Perhaps there is a more useful way to frame things…

How about instead :

“It’s somewhat common for people with some level of disfunction within their intimate relationships to be okay living their entire lives with a partner essentially dictating what is ‘acceptable’ in their lives together in such a way that is uncompromising for said other partner - who then feels like they are not deserving of the things that make them happy. This is unhealthy as it builds resentment and encourages dishonesty and ‘going around’ set boundaries only really agreed upon by one party.”

The takeaway should not be : “Women have no respect for men’s hobbies.”

There are plenty of women who love games, and plenty of men who don’t.

The takeaway should be : “Partners in an intimate relationship should have enough love and respect for one another that they can truly find middle ground with issues they disagree on - while at the same time trying to better empathize, communicate, and enrich each others’ lives. If you and your partner disagree on where gaming should be as an aspect of your personal hobbies and interests, a reasonable compromise should be discussed.”

I am a guy at the same age. My spouse doesn’t really game much… but we have our video games in the living room, as that allows me to enjoy our home theater setup for single player type and online multiplayer gaming between my fellow parent gamers and myself, while also allowing us as a family to play certain games like Mario Kart and Castle Crashers together across seating that is comfortable and roomy.

My partner loves me and wants me to be happy. And I want them to be happy. If you aren’t happy with the arrangement currently set… talk about it. If they can’t meet you in the middle… then decide if it’s worth it to continue discussing it or not and go forward.

Really that’s a foundational aspect of healthy relationships… communication, respect, and a hope that you help make the other happy and feel supported.

A relationship without that foundation will likely eventually fail.

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