ADHD aside interrupting people is rude.
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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To be fair: 95% of people saying 'I get it' definetly didn't got it.
Sauce: Ask anyone working in IT support
I am impatient with long descriptions, but I do find that in a minority of cases, the description does lead in to a distinction that I would not have intuited.
I try to reflect on that during long descriptions, particularly ones that are highly redundant with something I remember.
I like explaining things. Just let me have this.
I grew up getting talked over at home. At school I was bullied and ostracized. After entering the workforce, I've been quietly beaten down at every workplace and made to feel like I should STFU at all times.
Today, people ask me why I'm so quiet most of the time and why I don't attend non-mandatory work functions or teambuildings anymore. I can only smile faintly and fakely while agreeing with them that I must be shy or simply have nothing to contribute.
It is what it is.
Ah that sucks mate. Do you have any ND friends?
I don't have any friends, really. Not since Covid.
That really sucks. One can't survive without friends. Can't you endeavour to make some ND ones? They tend to be way more in sync.
I only struggle when someone pauses after making a point that seems complete, only to start adding more points the moment i begin to reply. The most annoying part is that i feel like an asshole for just trying to engage. So then i sit there trying to multitask listening, holding into my response, editing it, and managing anxiety, which leads to missing most of their additional points. This varies wildly individual to individual.
Luckily people are pretty forgiving...
Pick one:
A) Sit there and try to listen while repeating your response in your head so you don't forget it, but you put too much attention towards that and miss everything they add
B) Listen intently, but forget what you wanted to say.
ADHD sure is a superpower!
Look at meme: "I'm pretty sure i got the condition"
Look medical resources: "This list of symptoms describes me."
Everyone you know: "I'm pretty you i got the condition"
The therapist: "That will take 6mo and $5k. to figure out and first we have to address the symptom of the condition to make sure the symptom isn't cauaing the condition, not included."
Strange... I don't remember making this comment and yet it's here already.
Are you me? This is literally me IRL ALL THE TIME!
In my experience though some people are forgiving, others not so much. But the ones that are often times can become friends
Hahaha yeah...
It's taken me waayyyy too long to recognize that someone being unforgiving about it is a red flag.
It took therapy to realize there are things i can't change about myself and this might be one. Still have to work on it but can't beat myself up over it.
The hardest part is not beating yourself up for things about yourself that you can't change
That's definitely a hard part. This is probably a non-sequitor but I always felt like others had their shit together and assumed them to be valid when they talked and my own thoughts/emotions to be subject to that validity. But that just leads to an internal unwillingness to communicate those feelings out of fear of invalidating them and the faulty logic that i must be invalid when in reality both people have real, immediate experience and emotion. So i would beat myself up instead of pressing them to meet on the same level.
Bleh, anyways, theres a nugget in there which led me to be more willing to assert my own validity. That helped a lot with my anxiety. But i still walk away from every social interaction over analyzing everything and being critical of myself. I'm just learning to be a little more critical of others too, that they made a choice in how to interact with me, and that i either appreciated it or not.
Does anyone know people who tell you the same stories every other week and you already know it word by word? Do you say something or just wait awkwardly?
I only have this problem with my sister who will spend 30 minutes just to get to the point after grabbing my attention with 1 foot out the door as I am trying to leave.
I always feel that itβs a sign of disrespect to forcefully hold my attention instead of just saying what they want.
Yeah, people hate this. It's a serious struggle. You have to let them finish, and it's seldom easy to do that.
I just repeat my 'yes' and grunts and 'I see' in triples. Aha, aha, aha, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, ok, ok, ok, click there, click there, click there, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, NO-NO-NO HIGHER yes-yes-yes, okay sigh.
My wife absolutely hates it, though she knows why I do it.
I have ADHD, I work in tech.
I'm pretty sure I've of my more troublesome clients is both extremely rude and also needs Ritalin.
Every time I say anything, they interrupt me with a reply, except, 90% of the time, they've didn't actually understand what I was trying to say. The assumption they make about what I am saying is very consistently incorrect.
It's really quite aggravating.
This on really irks me as two people in my family are this wayβ¦ but always wrong. Itβs like having a conversation with an autocomplete engine thatβs always wrong. If you just let me finish my sentence, this would go way faster.
Also annoying though are people who think they "get it", stop listening and be interruptive after a few words, and totally miss the crucial part that comes later.
Other neurodivergent people are hard to hang out with, except for sharing our grievances in memes :-)
Yes, this is a serious problem with some people. Far worse than OP's issue.
My wife has ADHD as well as myself. How often I'm trying to make a point by starting off on points that lead to that point, and she makes the point for me, conducts a counter argument, and wastes 30 seconds of me back pedaling to say that's not at all what I'm trying to get at.
I find that ND peeps are much easier to get along with.
Yeah i have realized all my friends thru the years are some kinna ND. I didn't plan it that way obviously. We NDs tend to find each other naturally
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My therapist helped this by saying that there are no points. forgetting what you are saying in order to let others in is part of the deal.
it happens literally multiple billions a times a day. be part of team "it is ok not to make my point".
it is a fun team to join.
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Then you finally give up and zone out for a bit.
Until you realize they just asked you a question.
Is that an ADHD thing?
It's the impulse control and anxiety & frustration that builds from not giving in to the impulse that's the challenge. That's if you're aware of the issue that if you do give in to the impulse you will likely come off as a dismissive asshole, and probabaly even condescending.
I have inattentive ADHD, so for me it's not an impulse thing, it's the fact that I'll forget what I was going to say by the time someone has finished. So either I interrupt or we sit awkwardly while I try and remember what I was going to say and it sucks.
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Im more on the
"I need you to repeat that second half because something you said in the first half sent me down an entirely different line of thinking and i stopped listening to you and only pretended to"
Side of things
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This also happens to me in reverse. I get half a sentence out, the other person nods and says "yup" or "K", and then i say "yeah k so then anyway" and on to the next point
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I miss Bob
Omg, I hate this feeling.
If Iβm drunk I just canβt handle it, and end up attempting to truncate what they are saying with a graceful and quick demonstration of my understanding to move things along. Mixed results ensue.
My partner does this all the time. Unfortunately, theyβre often completely wrong about what I was trying to say. Suddenly weβre having two completely different conversations simultaneously.
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