May your toilet seat be forever frozen.
this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
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You shit yourself every time someone says something dumb on the internet
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Randomly appearing pebble in their shoes
Get a tax bill
Just be annoyingly cute and nice to them. Like, exrremely.
And what to do with all unicorn blood that's soon to spoil? Just gift it to them? I don't think they'd feel it's a nice gesture it is.
May your PC crash every time you're almost done with your work.
May you always be too hot with the blanket on and too cold with the blanket off.
May a lightbulb in your house go bad every month.
May everything you put on your wall be slightly crooked.
May every bed you sleep on be either too soft or too firm to be comfortable.
May the garbage bag always rip when you go to take out the trash.
May your left headphone always be slightly quieter than your right one.
May sh!tstains be left on your toilet every time you flush.
May all the toilet paper you use in public bathrooms be 1 ply.
May you always stutter right before making a very strong point in an argument.
An arch cramp for 2 minutes every day at a random time.
You mean this spasm pain in the foot? Damn, they are annoying!
or a jaw cramp.
Ideally while you need to explain something important
Ooof. Or that thing in your chin just under your tongue.
yup, that's the one!
I hate those cramps. They are the worst
You will never take a shit again..
My grandfather died that way. I wish I was joking. This one is definitely violent.
I hope you die alone and without kids.