Asklemmy

Jeep. All of them. Rickety. Not built well. Terrible gas mileage. Bad on highways. Bad on city streets. I literally got bruises on my butt on an off road trail in one of them. Just absolute shit cars.

I once had a loaner from a dealer that was a Dodge Caliber. Ugly as sin and the transmission was definitely on its way out. That car was just a struggle. It was a reminder why I will never buy a Chrysler product.

A fleet/company car. A Chevette. I pressed the accelerator to the floor, the engine went "huh? you want what?"

1994 Ford Taurus.

I went over a speed hump at 5mph and the whole engine fell out of the front.

Apparently it's not supposed to do that.

A 1971 Chrysler Newport.

The thing was a boat. You’d hit a bump in the road, and the car would act like you crested a wave and bob front to back a few times. It was wider than most pickup trucks and probably heavier. Not only could it not fit in most parking spots, it could hardly fit in some lanes. Required leaded gas, which was getting hard to find at that point. If you needed to go uphill you had to build up speed because you would slow down, even with the gas pedal floored.

The best part is that when I finally brought it in for service, the mechanic came out and said “You’ve been driving that thing??” Three out of four motor mounts had broken and the last one was about rusted through.

It did have an 8-track though, and came with a bunch of Elvis tapes.

I hated Elvis, but did manage to find an 8-track of Peter Paul and Mary.

We had a brace of rented Nissan cargo vans at work, the small ones. Those were truly terrible. They had CVT transmissions that just would not hook up. I'd get to the top of an SF hill at a stop sign and just sit there with my foot planted, waiting.

We replaced them with Ford Transits. The CVT in that model is only slightly more usable, but we all still fight over who gets the older model, with the torque converter.

Mid 80's Bronco. My ex insisted that she had to have a bronco. It had a 302 in it, but holy hell. I am sure it was the fact that they were still trying out emissions schemes but I bet it had less than a hundred hp. It would barely move out of it's own way, and if you got about 6mpg you considered yourself lucky. Toss in an oil leak and it was like driving the Exxon Valdez. I can't decide if the best day of my life was getting rid of the bronco, or her....

Narrator: Both....

Chrysler 200 as a rental after someone smoked my Civic, and I waited to get a new one.

The car was... Jiggly? Like the suspension was unsettling, the brakes needed getting acquainted with lest you rear-end someone, and the steering had too much play. It wasn't enough play to convince me something was wrong, it was just shit quality.

No power. At all. Getting on the freeway was an adventure in noise and hope. Everything lagged. Fuel economy was garbage too.

Looked stupid. And my Civic si that replaced it, the econobox with a hot engine, had a luxury interior in comparison, which is saying something.

Horrible car to add to a horrible week.

Nissan Versa, so many weird blind spots.

Ooh man, I’ve driven a lot of rentals for work…

I hated hated hated the Nissan Cube. Thankfully the check engine light came on within two hours of me picking it up so I got to swap it.

But I think the one that takes the cake is actually a vacation rental car. My husband and I rented a car when we went to Belgium. It was an Opel Corsa. It struggled to even reach the speed limit on highways and definitely couldn’t go above it. The funniest thing was that all the Audis and BMWs in Belgium didn’t even bother to tailgate us; they saw us ahead of them and moved over to pass well before they got to us. They knew. That thing was hilariously bad at being a car. I was also a new stick shift driver and it was very difficult. We then went to Switzerland where we got a VW Polo and suddenly I got a whole lot better at driving stick, lol.

I rented a 2020 Mitsubishi Outlander in 2022 and it was amazing how unresponsive it was. It's a small SUV with the engine of a hamster. It has a "sport mode" that really struggled to get me up some hills in Colorado.

Also, the rubber seal for the door, on 3 of the doors, was constantly feel off and could be worn as a second seatbelt.

Chevy Suburban. I volunteered to drive for a university course field trip and it's what I got stuck with.

• Unresponsive fatass brick of a vehicle. I mean, come on, a minivan has more cargo space and the same passenger capacity without three light aircraft worth of inertia.
• Dashboard sucked. It took me a solid three minutes to find the button shifts. (I know these can be done well - Honda does them right - but the PRNDL was fucking laid out in a thin row at the side of the dashboard. Huh?)
• Overtaking damn near anything would redline the (very new, less than 10k miles) engine.

A Hyundai Elantra, it let me down in so many ways. Financially, spiritually, etc.

Chevy Malibu I got at a rental place because they didn't have the type of car I requested months ahead of time. Neither my partner nor I could figure out how the fuck to set the cruise control, which had "get up to speed then step on the brake" as one of the instructions. We're also not frequent drivers.

Fuck that car, driving it gave me a panic attack

A Ford Expedition from a car rental place. It felt like driving around a ten ton brick through molasses. It was the least responsive and awkward shit box I've ever had the displeasure of piloting. It was so bad I literally drove to the nearest rental place to exchange it for a smaller car.

2021 gmc Sierra, cant see shit in front of you

Some time in 2015/2016, parents had a loaner Ford ecosport. That thing struggled with hills. And by hills, I mean speed bumps and anything not completely horizontal. Nobody even felt like trying to get it on a highway, we knew there was no way it could get up to speed safely.

Rental car for South island NZ, MG Excite. Unfortunately we'd just had a hybrid in North island NZ, and had been spoiled by it's good fuel economy and responsiveness, amongst other things.

This car had a label insisting on 95, not just 91. In NZ, fuel is fucking expensive, let alone premium. It also felt like we were filling up every day or at least every other day, whilst back up in North island we'd filled once every three to four days.

It also handled like a turd, wired android auto was unreliable and crashed all the time so we had to reset the head unit multiple times a day, its driver assist was way too fucking interventionist and couldn't be disabled without being at a complete stop (said it could do it if below the speed limit but always said you were above it??)...

Just terrible.

Hyundai Sonata 2019 seats are hard as hell. Rear view mirror is way to low.

Chrysler grand voyager. It was relatively new, but omg it felt borderline dangerous. It was actually funny for the first 10 mins but I had to deliver this POS few hours away. On a straight smooth road it was like driving a sofa, comfy and soft. Once it entered a corner it turned into a boat, and stopping hard twice in a row had limited success. I asked the dealer where I delivered it too about how it handled. Apparently this is standard behaviour for Cryslers, and in the US it is fine (straight roads, limited hard breaking) and they love soft cars. In the UK we expect cars to stop and go round corners so we notice just how bad the Grand voyager is.

I won't drive a Crysler again.

Two I can think of. The van we had to take as teenagers to work at the flea market. Long ass shifter that started at the floor of the car, so hard to drive and had to do precision driving through skinny aisles between tents.

The truck of my FIL, I had to literally stand up on the pedal , ass off the seat, to get the clutch to engage.

Also had a 1967 mustang that broke often enough I had to learn to fix it and believe me, this is not something that comes naturally to me, nor do I enjoy it. It was interesting in a way, had to do things like get the flywheel machined. But when you need a car for transportation and are poor as heck that is scary and uncomfortable.

A 1980 MGB.

The fuel gauge was only loosely related to the fuel level, I ran out repeatedly before learning to use the odometer instead.
The dashboard switches would sometimes disintegrate, springs fly out, when you flipped them.
The electric radiator fan was controlled by a relay that melted if the fan ran too much, and the engine would overheat. I lived in Arizona at the time.
The brake system totally failed in traffic and I had to stop from 40 MPH using the emergency brake. I think that was the most scared I have ever been in a car.
The supposed catalytic converter was an empty shell (I bought the car used, I did not do this) so once a year I would take it to the mechanic, who would tune it to pass emissions, get it tested, and immediately take it back to the mechanic to make it drivable again. The statute of limitations has run out so I can admit that.
Finally, the water pump failed in an incontinent way when I tried to sell it, the buyer had second thoughts after that and I had to fix it and start over selling.
It was cute, cheap, and drove well, but a creation of Hell.

My wife's old 2004 Honda Civic. It was the worst piece of shit I've ever had the displeasure of driving. And it was super unreliable to boot!

It was dangerously slow. Getting on the freeway always required full throttle to get up to speed in time, which was never enough. Some cars egg you on, "Go faster! Let me rev! I love revs! Speeeeeed! Power!" This thing was like Eeyore on Adavan, "Huh? Power? If I have to. Ththrhtbbt. That's the best I can do."

The "top rated" Goodyear tires we put on it were fucking awful as well. The tire compound was super hard, so despite the pitiful power, you could always spin the front tires in the dry. Despite the hard tire compound, they wore out 20,000 miles before their warranty was up. One time while exiting the freeway, the shit box decided it wanted to oversteer (the tail slid out) as I went around a corner at a very reasonable speed. Luckily, I was able to hold the slide and correct it (which was pretty cool). I like to push cars and to go fast, but I've never ever had a front wheel drive car oversteer on me before, especially at super low speeds. This isn't really the car's fault, but the shit tires come with the shit territory.

It had no safety features other than seatbelts and a couple airbags. No anti-lock brakes. No traction control. It had manual windows (fine, I guess), manual mirrors (eww), and manual door locks (gag me with a spoon!).

Despite all these omissions, it had alloy wheels and a spoiler from the factory! Oh, but it's ok, it's the fucking "value package" so all my friends won't know I cheaped out on a car until they have to wait for me to get in the car to unlock their doors!

In the 4 years she had it, the following broke:

• The thermostat got stuck closed, which caused it to overheat which required the head gasket to be replaced
• The alternator failed catastrophically. Forget not charging the battery, try shorting out, discharging the battery and killing the engine in seconds.
• The tie rod snapped, causing the front wheels to be pointed in opposite directions (luckily this was in a parking lot so we didn't die)
• The steering rack had to be replaced to fix the steering wheel that was 30 degrees off center to go straight.
• Something was wrong with the brake booster, it hissed when you held the pedal down in a certain position, which really inspired confidence.

What an awful car. Still, at least the previous owner left a new condom in the glove box when she bought it.

A Skoda Kamiq with an automatic gear box.

Granted I have only driven a few cars, but damn that Kamiq had an absolutely shit gearbox, combined with a terrible start/stop system.

The gearbox refused to shift until the very limits of the rev range.

Driving in the mountains in Andalucia in a rental car with a bad gearbox was spectacular views combined with constant annoyance.

I have a few shortlisted

My parent's 2010 Ram 1500, the interior is rather comfy but the reliability is just not there. At 100k km the engine blew up, apparently this is still an issue with the current ones as the 5.7L V8 still has the same flaw allowing for some components to drop into the cylinder. There's also been random electrical components that have died relatively fast, and whatever metal was used rusted exponentially even with rust proofing being applied twice a year. It had more rust than their 2011 Toyota Highlander that had greater than 300k km

I also just hated when I had to drive it downtown, but I can't exactly blame the vehicle for that.

2011 Toyota highlander, it went through 3 transmissions, 5 rear wiper motors, and it was about to go on to its 4th transmission when they sold it. The 3rd one didn't even last much more than a year.

2006 Rav 4 (V6), this car also went through 2 transmissions, and then had to have the entire steering column replaced by year 2

~2016 Ford Fusion, this was a rental car for when my Civic was being repaired after an accident and my god was it awful. It handled like a massive boat despite being a medium sized car and the transmission felt significantly less responsive than even the CVT in the honda. The seats also sucked but i think that was how the rental company cleaned them, they made this awful noise every time you sat in them and looked and felt like a "casting couch" with several generations of children dried up in them...

Honorary Mention: my friends Nissan Versa, seemingly unreliable and falling apart but it refuses to ever give up. That thing will survive nuclear winter, and will remind you with every pothole that its existence is torture.

Going to be a toss-up between two of my own cars.

1992 Cavalier convertible Z24 I bought for pennies as my first own car. Had 420,000km on it and grabbed it and it's papers from some sketch dealer.

Looked good enough on the outside for it's purpose of having fun. Roof worked. And it had a v6. But it fell apart fast (and a lot due to my own shenanigans). Stearing became so off that I had to turn left to stay straight. The heater died, I live in Canada. The seat's support broke, so I used an old set of goalie pads propped against the back seat to keep my seat upright. The dashboard lights were blown, so I had a ducked tape flashlight on my headrest to light my dash up. More than ounce, I'd have to pull a fuse and put it back in while cruising on the highway.

Second worse was the off the lot brand new 02 Sunfire my parents forced me to buy to replace the above shitbox due to it's safety. For fuck sakes I despised this car. Despite how bad the cavalier was, it was FUN and quirky. The Sunfire was just a poorly made shitbox with zero power, and non-stop electrical failures the day I took it off the lot.

This isn't really that terrible of a car, but it felt pretty terrible in that moment.

My brother and I had to drive to some location in two cars, for some reason. He was driving in his own car and I had to follow with our mum's family car. You know, the kind of car that fits a husband, three children and the groceries for the next month.

When we arrived, my brother gave me shit for driving so slow, that he had to constantly brake and wait for me. I told him, I was flooring it, but the car just wouldn't accelerate faster.

He didn't believe me. So, we switched cars on the way back. Then he did believe me.

Chrysler Sebring. Fucking battery.

1993 Geo Metro. Scared the crap out of me on the highway.

I think it was a 1998-ish Pontiac Grand Prix. I dated two different women that drove that car and so I had to ride around in them and sometimes drive them. Both were just a train wreck of problems. They shook violently sitting at a red light, the brakes always seemed to be failing, and everything that could break was falling off the cars. It’s weird that two women I dated owned the same car but more so that they both had the same problems.

I have driven and found joy in many cars: Pinto, beetle, 2CV, original 500s, 1940s Ford tractors, beater pickups including a 1949 International, HMMWV, etc. Mopeds (like 1970s Puch), ratty motorcycles. They all make me giggly.

I had to think a few minutes about one that was just terrible, no redeeming points I could find: first (north american) gen Hyunda Excel What a soul-sucking turd.

1994 Toyota 4Runner. It should've been good, but ironically (being a Toyota) it's the least reliable car I've ever owned. The engine loses power randomly and I can't figure out why.