You see... John Wick isn't God. He's who you send to kill fucking God
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2024
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He once killed lucifer with a fucking pencil.
Never thought that line was particularly impressive. A pencil is roughly a sharpened stick, so all you had to do is jab it through the eye into the brain. Would have been more impressive if he had used something more improbable, like a piece of paper.
Nah, it's actually surprisingly difficult to jab a pencil into someone's eye and kill them. Don't feel like getting out on any more lists so I won't offer a source, but I will give you a good starting point to do more investigating by saying that there was a railroad worker who was blasting a tunnel out with dynamite and managed to get a railroad spike through his skull. It altered his personality but he did live and make a "full" recovery
...With a fucking pencil!
Dude's had it coming for a long time.
But why would you want to kill Aphrodite?
(Please read in wacky buddy comedy voice from movie commercials)
John Wick and John Constantine. The supernatural Reeves dual role buddy shoot-em-up we never knew we wanted (and probably still don't). As they traverse hell and heaven seeking vengeance for and with luck reuniting Wick and his dog. They may just find friendship, celestial blood, and their lost love along the way.
The John Chronicles: All Dogs Go To Heaven
And that's just the movie that kicks off the Johnicles cinematic universe.
Just wait until they introduce Johnny Mnemonic, Johnny Utah, and Johnny Silverhand.
It'll be banger if it'll launch, like "The Expendables" series back in the day
"Friday night at 8pm, right here on ABC."
I'd actually pay to see that one.
Phone rings
Longinus: Longinus speaking
Pause
God: I hear you crucified my son.
Longinus: Yes, Sir, I did.
God: And may I ask why?
Longinus: clears throat Well... he stole John Wick's car... and he killed his dog.
God: Oh.
If Doomguy's rabbit died naturally
Came here for this lmao
If he can go to hell he could probably go to heaven too
John Wick about to go Kratos
I want a crossover where these two have to work together to murder a Pantheon, but we don't deserve it.
Thank you and fuck you at the same time for putting that desire in my head
God's fucked
wick has killed at least 1000 people by my count
Final Fantasy XVII
So you see, kids, there is no god. Not anymore. Keanu Reeves killed him.
Face looks like monkey Jesus.
That's sait joseph lol Jesus daddy
This is legitimately the plot of DOOM and DOOM 2, just replace the dog with a bunny and God with all of Hell’s inhabitants.
That's not Jesus, that's just some skinny Norwegian guy.