this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
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Antiwork
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I’m vegan, but when push comes to shove, I can make a temporary exception for rich folk.
The trick to slaughtering a rich is to make it feel comfortable, like there's nothing wrong...everything's just business as usual...that's right richy.. just chill....Then it's just a matter of slitting their throats, removing their organs for disposal or refrigerating, and hanging them upside down to drain most of the blood. Allow to sit for at least 1 week in a well refrigerated environment before cooking or freezing for longer term storage.
This is if you want to butcher the rich grass fed, pasture raised style. If you factory farm, you can just kick em to death in front of their kids and start to chow down.
Cheaper, less effort, and less nutritious/tasty, but hey, what are we gonna do? Change the way we farm the rich to be more humane? Pfft, not on my dime!
No no, I prefer my rich to be slaughtered the humane way, like chicken. Neck in a clamp, water boarded, beaten with a dozen silicone mallets until all the feathers I mean hair is removed, then I want a vacuum to pierce their stomachs and suck out their organs and then at the end decapitated.
If their office job has a window even better, Free Range Rich!!!