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The desire to have sex? Sure would make relationships easier.
I understand this well. Spent a few decades in dysfunctional relationships rooted in my lack of sexual desire. Happily married to another ace woman today, where sex is only ever suggested as part of joke and we've never even came close. She is liberating, freeing, incredible and safe.
Yet I still hold a lot of guilt from previous partners who spent time thinking something was wrong with them or I was cheating because I always made "not tonight" excuses for several years straight. It wasn't fair to either of us, but my lack of introspection, self-honesty and fear of being alone kept us years of strife.
Things are wonderful now, no complaints but GAWD a lot of heart ache could've been avoided if I had a *normal" sex drive.
Congratulations 👏. Can I ask, how you view nudity and you and/or your partner being naked in front of each other? Genuinely curious!
While we don't make a habit of it, both of us walk in front of the other when getting out of the shower or getting dressed for the day. It's just a part of life, nothing sexual about it. We've also given various small compliments about each other, generally after one of us gets a tattoo, but we have both discussed than anything about each other genitals is just weird and unwanted. We really are the greatest for each other. 😂
Having said that, she asked me to post a picture of her breasts a lil while ago, in my post history, but that's the most sexual thing either of us have suggested. And it was just taking a few photos than a movie, not like past GFs that wanted to turn that in to sex.
Now I'm curious myself, is nudity a hurdle for you? Fully valid and no judgement, just wondering. :)
Thanks for your story. I find it very interesting! This is just something I wondered about, whether it would be aversion or just a disinterest. I don't know many ace/aro people that well to ask.
No, I am neither and am in a relationship that involves it all. We are very comfortable with each other haha.
Glad you found your other half.
I'm ace in a demi relationship, but I'm NGL, it's still hard. I'm suuuuper glad sex isn't the focus of our relationship and we've been going strong for a while, but it does also add complexity
I'm aro/ace and sometimes I feel like this. But I guess what I want is just another person to have a connection with. If more people were aro/ace my problem would also be solved. Still I do sometimes wonder what I'm missing out on. Everyone seems to like it, yet I find it yucky. There's plenty of other things in life to enjoy though, so no biggie
In my case, I just feel like it’s unfair to my girlfriend. I know it’s not my fault, and I’m not obligated to give her something I don’t enjoy myself - but the reality is that something that’s a big part of most relationships is missing from ours, and it’s because of me. We’re in an open relationship, so she doesn’t have to go entirely without, but it’s still not ideal.
Hmmm yeah that sucks. In that regard we aro/aces have it easier I guess. For most people romance and sexuality seem to be tied. I can imagine that it often can lead to incompatibility