this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2023
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Jeffrey Epstein, when he killed himself, probably.
Pretty sure he didn’t kill himself any more than Prince Andrew doesn’t sweat.
Tfw you're hanging out in a cell getting ready to testify against a bunch of super-powerful people, in a prison that's prevented every attempted suicide in decades, after having made repeated statements that you have absolutely no intention of killing yourself, and then suddenly both the guards leave to go take a nap, and at that exact time, you notice that the multiple cameras watching your cell all randomly glitch off at the same time, so at that moment you decide to kill yourself using a method that's indistinguishable from being murdered
To be fair, both guards were tired from doing a bunch fo online shopping suddenly for no obvious reason
Thus ensuring Trump's compromat would not get revealed. Suuuure he killed himself...