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How to be less racist/bigotred? (lemmy.world)

submitted 11 months ago by bi_tux@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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So I am a part of the LGBTQ community and work in a big city in middle europe. A lot of my coworkers are religios and have a foreign background. They are mostly very nationalist and homo-/transphobic. I hate them for their blind hate and bigotry, which wont change. I have realised, that I have become a bit bigotred towards people like them in the last few months, which is, even tho my biases often revealed to be true, just unfair to them. How could I stop that?

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[–] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

Learn not to hate them. Learn compassion for them. What would have to be true for you to behave and believe as they do?

Recognize your bigotry for what it is. My guess is that it comes as a self defence mechanism. If they are a threat to you, then you need to recognize them in order to know when you're in immediate danger. It is rational for you to err on the side of caution, which naturally results in some bigotry. This shouldn't be necessary, but it is. Have some compassion for yourself in this.

Remember that acceptance does not mean giving up on influencing people to change. They are as they are and maybe you can help them change. Or someone can. Then there is less need to think of their beliefs as their whole identity. And then there is less need to have bigoted thoughts about them.

None of this is easy. Metta meditation has helped me, although the process moves slowly. I can remember doing Metta for 1 hour per day for four people who were a real threat to me, and on the 9th day something changed in me and I suddenly found it easy to not to hate them any more. I still wouldn't go near them, but now I see them more as the pathetic creatures they behave like. And maybe one day they will change.

Good luck. Peace.