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would dating my ex friend be worth it, do you think he could love me and would calm down if i said yes or am i just thinking this out of sadness? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 19 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) by drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

34 comments fedilink hide all child comments

i just broke up with my bf who ghosted me bc he realized he's gay (im a woman). i don't even think i like guys but i have this compulsion to ask out my friend who i blocked to have a man that treats me right instead of the other guy that ghosted me, and also to make him happy.

he kept talking about how he could treat me better than anyone else, that i should've ditched my bf for him (obv i said no), and badmouthed not only his gf of a few years since age 16 but also his first time. he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia and she blocked all his socials after he left.

he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn't want to be his gf so ik he doesn't care about consent regardless of what he says. he also completely ignored me liking women and acted like i was straight but i feel lonely.

i kinda wanna make him happy and have a bf who pays attention to me but ik i'm probably just saying this out of sadness. we were friends but i had to block.

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[–] temporal_spider@lemm.ee 8 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

Someone who will treat you well won't need to tell you that they will treat you well. It's kind of like how liars and scammers make a big deal about how honest they are. Another big clue is that he was telling you this while both of you were with other people. He cheats on one partner, he'd cheat on you, too.

[–] drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 hours ago

he broke up before he said all this. he was clearly into me and hitting on me before they broke up though, and the rest still stands. tysm

[–] RicoPeru@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

i agree with this. also, i feel like if they do it (he never said if they wore protection), the girl might’ve been acting weird because she was pregnant and he just leaves her. that’s sick.

(i cant say for sure but it might be a possibility)

op, it’s possible that he just wants u to meet up with him, have sex, and then leave once u either dont act how he wants u too or if u get pregnant. since he doesn’t seem to take no for an answer, he could also either pressure you into sex or just pressure you into not wearing protection if you choose to do so.

he doesn’t accept dissent in other matters, why would he in sex? especially if he discusses sexual topics with you. it’s very common for gross people like him who don’t take no for an answer, especially when wanting sex, to r*pe their partners.