this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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This will probably be my last question here (at least for a while). My last two questions were about flirting and expressing romantic interest to someone. In short in was a mixture of: 'Flirting is important.' and 'Just be yourself.'

I want to give flirting a proper, respectable shot. I want to see if this is something I can develop and get creative with.

At the same time I'm also hearing I should just be myself and let it be natural. Well, I never flirt, ever. So if I do, it will not be natural nor count as being myself.

So, what should I do? What does it mean to be yourself, while trying to change?

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[โ€“] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"Being yourself" does not preclude personal development. Personal growth and learning skills, even something like flirting, is part of becoming a more well-rounded version of yourself.

Thing is, flirting isn't something you need to master or even be great at. As a matter of fact, being "terrible" at flirting can be just as effective.

The goal of flirting is to engage in social interaction that expresses interest and attraction.

I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself. You probably shouldn't even call it flirting. Put that notion aside. Focus on intentionally communicating your interest.

If you're interested in a person, then find ways to express that. It can be light-hearted and flirtatious, but being terrible at flirting works too. So do it terribly. You'll eventually figure out what doesn't help communicate your intent. Flirting is a gentle and indirect way of expressing that intent. Many people are more direct and it can work for them too. Being more direct may be better for you. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Regardless of what you do, be respectful. Be playful if you want. But most importantly, communicate your intent and desire.