this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2025
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... do people actually do that? As in, is strong jealousy really a thing?
I'd like to believe that each of us builds their life into the exact thing they need, so swapping places with anyone else would be terribly uncomfortable. So I can't relate as to why anyone would ever be jealous i guess haha
I also donβt get your other replier. I too like the life Iβm building but I would appreciate swapping with not having to worry about money haha
Pardon me, but you sound very privileged here, in the spiritual sense of "stop being poor" or "just don't be depressed" etc.
If that was your intention, you've succeeded admirably.
I'm both depressed and grew up poor so idk what you're on about
Getting jealous at people who appear to have it better isn't exactly a productive solution to either of those
An average person doesn't mechanically compartmentalize emotions and puts them aside because they aren't "productive solutions".
It's good for you that you've managed this kind of selfcontrol in order to improve your life. But that's because you've numbed down the things that do you harm.
A person that isn't depressed doesn't have that kind of 'benefit'. Emotions run freely and wild without fear. And cause all kinds of trouble.
Lovers being jealous of outside attention to the point of madness.
Siblings being jealous of biased parental love to end up estranged.
Children in patched up clothes on the streets begging or on the fields working - being jealous of children dressed in brand new school uniforms and going to school together.
Any person in a hospital bed with a terminal illness watching through the window the world living a life they can't have.
And so many other examples...
Productive solutions don't mean shit when it comes to strong emotions and jealousy can be very strong at times. Strong enough to murder even. I mean forget about the world-ending news regurgitation, at the local level where the average person lives, jealousy is high up in ranking as a reason for commiting crimes.
That's all clear examples of emotional disregulation.
You're not wrong that you can't help what you feel, but everyone has an amount of control and responsibility for how they react to their own feelings, and is ultimately responsible for their own actions regardless of the strength of their emotions.
If you live in an environment where people regularly excuse shitty, violent, or abusive behavior by using their emotions as an excuse for it, please understand that is not healthy behavior.
You don't seem to understand. There is no country on this planet that doesn't have at least one abnormal living environment within. And the people living in such types of environment don't have the luxury of entertaining your kind of psychological snobbism/elitism.
You talk of ideals, not reality. From the role of an observer, not a participant. Your advice is superficial nonsense from a position of safety and comfort.
I mean, what planet have you been living on until now?
Oh my god crawl out of your own ass. You don't know me or what I've been through, and your assertion that someone could only say this sort of thing if they never experienced that kind of trauma is asinine and insulting.
This isn't elitism, or any other label you've got up your sleeve to make it easy to dismiss because you don't agree with it.
It's excruciatingly won life experience. I'm not going to apologize for calling what you've described what it is.
Yes, people are not compartmentalized automatons. But it's just as ridiculous to argue that people are complete slaves to their emotions to the point of violence, or that it's OK that they are.
Actual well adjusted adults are, in general, able to control their response to their own emotions. If they aren't able to do that to the extreme degree of the examples you used, that is emotional disregulation. That's literally the term for it.
As I said before, if you find yourself surrounded by people who can't, do whatever you can to keep yourself safe and get out as soon as you can. If it's family, limit your exposure or go no contact.
I know that sucks to hear when you're stuck in the unsafe situation, or when you have to rely on those people financially or otherwise. But for your own safety you need to make an exit plan that you can work towards.
There are plenty of people out there who won't go out beating people or murdering after a bad day, or even after a bad couple of years. You don't have to live in a situation with people who do/would, despite how hard it may be to get out.
For fucks sake, in the past few days I called out someone for making a suggestion to someone living in an unsafe situation that seemed kind on the surface but would put them in more danger. Something I know from personal experience.
I wouldn't be here if I hadn't got out. At best I would have only killed myself.
I ran from a dangerous situation living with my parents, eight hours away to what I thought was a safe new start and a path forward for my life. I had to move back in with my dangerous situation parents because the person I thought I had my new start with was stealing from what was supposed to be my new support network, and they couldn't take the risk that I was part of the thefts. I wasn't. I watched my plans for my life crumble instantly while I had to go back to where I tried to escape. Relationship I built over a quarter of my life, trashed. My safe place, my advocate, had been a liar and a thief from the start and I was too blind to see it.
And before you try to squirm around more with shit like "clearly you haven't interacted with the public in a long time or worked retail" or some shit like that: I worked a total of 8 years between retail and tech support.
Great speech, really, but why aren't you getting it? It's not about you or me or the commenter i started the chain with. This was their comment:
Are you and all the people up voting that comment really unable to grasp that there are people who actually do that? That strong jealousy really is a thing?
You kept deviating with your own sad stories, hope and self-control and get out from the bad environment.
But this is about them, the people that get left behind, that don't crawl out and escape, that don't get to build their lives into the exact thing they need. So that swapping places with literally anyone else would be fucking awesome to them.
That's why I said you're sitting on a high horse, you can't seem to relate to them.
God job on making it out though. Though they might have moments of jealousy, I'm sure most of the people that couldn't do the same are proud and thankful you can be an example to them. (Not sarcasm, if you're interpreting that way. You only saw those earlier examples and seemed deadset on them being the only kind there is.)
Tag was accurate