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It’s a real account…
It's a real account you won't remember to check in four years.
Again, why did you ask me if you didn't want to know?
Edit: I just checked, Proton shuts down accounts without activity after 12 months. Do you want to know or not?
I have an email client that regularly checks for mail on dozens of throwaway accounts, I have never “lost” a proton account. I will add that to the list right now.
Do you have a flower preference? Maybe something morbid, like a skull vase and black carnations?
I love how it has hair.
You're lying and I'm not sure why. You seem to think I'll feel bad that you're pretending to want to celebrate my death when I actually do want people to celebrate my death and I'm giving you the opportunity. I'm also not sure why you're lying about spending money on me as if anything I ever did, including dying, would be worth buying something on my behalf.
I want you to celebrate my death and I'm giving you the opportunity.
Do you think I would want to die if I didn't want people happy about it?
Take the opportunity.
I promise that if I am notified of your death and am provided with an address for which to mail flowers, I will send them. There are plenty of reasonably priced flower delivery services. Although, they don’t have that wicked skull vase with the hair.
I will also buy a bottle of champagne and think of you while I drink it. It’s hardly expensive, and I don’t really need much of a reason to drink.
And I promise I will provide you one in four years when you send me a legitimate email address. I doubt you will though because you think I'm joking when I'm not. This is already being planned out and doctors are already being contacted.
It's not my fault that you aren't actually willing to celebrate it but it's a pretty big waste of your time to think that what you're doing is making me feel unhappy or hate myself any more than I already do, because that's both not in your power and never will be and also simply not possible. I mean keep trying all you want but you have literally no influence on my feelings in any way and you never will.
But I guess keep playing this silly game if you want. From now on, I'll just say the same thing: DM me a legitimate email if you really want to know. I won't be holding my breath.