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I have said yes to a date by mistake. (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 week ago by squid_slime@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Met a 22 yo in a group I am involved in, she asked if I wanted a lift to a meeting, there and back. I don't know her very well but she's young a lot younger than me by 10years.

So talking on the way back she mentions antidepressants, I too take anti depressants, the conversation moves towards SSRIs and sex. I panic because that shit makes me supper uncomfortable, she said some stuff that was a blatant hint. Anyway me and her have activity later in the week for the group we're in, she's invited me out for a drink after and being friendly and uncomfortable I said yea sure.

How best to proceed? I don't want things to be weird and our group get weird as a result. I wish I could set boundaries.

Worth mentioning I have crazy anxiety so don't judge too hard I mostly run on auto pilot in those situations.

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[–] CrimeDad@lemmy.crimedad.work 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you personally prefer to date within a narrower age range that's fine. A lower limit of half your age plus seven (and the corresponding upper limit of your age minus seven times two) is just a reasonable guideline as to whether or not a couple has a socially appropriate age gap.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I’m getting downvoted, but it’s an honest statement and I stand by it.

[–] CrimeDad@lemmy.crimedad.work 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Down votes aren't real on here so don't worry about it. For what it's worth, it wasn't me.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (2 children)

But seriously though, DiCaprio freaks me out, Trump freaks me out for the same reason, among others.

I mean, what’s wrong with dating one’s age?

I don’t wanna be dating someone half my age, then I die. That just seems cruel.

[–] CrimeDad@lemmy.crimedad.work 2 points 1 week ago

I thought that DiCaprio was dating outside of the range I described. There's nothing wrong with dating your own age. Likewise I don't think there's anything automatically wrong with dating within a wide age range. I think there's such a thing a too wide of an age range and the formula I explained seems to define those limits well.

[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

You dont want to be judged for your preferences but at the same time you judge others for theirs. Thats whats wrong, not your preference itself.

[–] Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

Don't worry about the downvotes, there's some real fucking creeps here on lemmy. I saw a thread full of guys telling another user not to worry about their middle aged dad being with a literal teenager a week or two ago.