this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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Life keeps happening and it feels so fast.
Went to another queer party, this time it was at an arcade with board games. A friend I made at an earlier queer party showed up with another friend and I got to hang out with them. She had two of my favourite things and since I have an all or nothing style of impulse control, I had a hard time saying no to mdma and mushrooms. I definitely had a great time.
For a brief moment when I was talking to someone else, I was made aware of the fact that I'm a not so queer person in a queer space. After a few questions from her, she came to understand how and why I ended up in such a space. She was understanding and accepting which was nice and she opened up a bit about herself too after finding out I was just there to meet new people and make friends.
That night I also got to share a local project idea I'm working on and I was quite surprised with the reactions. My friend asked me one question to confirm what my idea as a whole was before offering to help in any way she can. The other person I was talking to just said "do it" after reading only a part of my idea, it appears she's doing similar work to what I want to do. I'm not used to people being so quick to support an idea of mine without negative perspectives, doubts or fears from their personal insecurities that aren't related to my idea. It was a bit scary but it felt really nice too. I'm meeting up with my friend again this week to talk about it again and she seems very eager to know more which is quite exciting :)
With all the experiences I've had since 2020, it feels like the few people I can make honest friendships with are queer women, autistic women or queer autistic women. I'm trying not to question it too much because it makes very little sense to me but I'm rolling with it anyways. They are some of the few people who seem to simply accept me as who I am without question and I absolutely appreciate that. I enjoy being able to be myself without the unnecessary judgement from the labels that most people seem to apply to me before they ever get to know me.
Life is strange. Wish it would slow down just a bit but that's not what the future has planned.