this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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Why is it that compared to other mental illness's like depression, ADHD, autism and anxiety people seem to be so hostile to NPD? I always see things about 'mental health awareness' yet this is never applied to personality disorders.

Just look up "narcissism", "NPD" or "narcissistic personality disorder" and the results are about how dangerous people with NPD are and how to spot somebody with NPD or if your ex boyfriend is a narcissist etc... etc...

I was watching this video earlier by a YouTube user 'ShortFatOtaku' called "Low IQ Twitter Discourse Awards!" and there was this one guy on twitter who said that if you claim advocate for the mentally ill you such do so with personality disorders as well. A statement I completely agree with:

https://youtu.be/3EJedJ8MhNA YouTube

ShortFatOtaku response with "wow your going to let that narcissist kill you and take everything from you?" I shouldn't have to explain how bad faith and unhinged that is.

Why do people think this way about narcissists? Having NPD doesn't make someone an inherently bad person. As someone who has NPD I haven't abused or manipulated anyone ever. Sure, I struggle with empathy, I have to make an effort to think about other people and ok I have a never ending need for validation but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person I understand I have a problem I didn't choose to be like this. Manipulation and grandiosity are awful traits that I have but they don't define me. I'm a good friend, I'm a good sister, I'm a good coworker and there are people out there who benefit from my existence. NPD doesn't have to define me I'm more then my diagnosis.

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[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the behaviors that contribute to this, though diagnostically and medically relevant, are generally deservedly stigmatized.

Sure, but only one of the nine diagnostic criteria is a behaviour. Most of them are feelings. Oftentimes bad feelings cause bad behaviour, but a bad feeling isn't enough evidence to call someone an abuser. If we start telling people they can't feel certain ways, we're basically inventing the concept of thoughtcrimes.

And yeah, people with NPD are very often attacked by neurotypicals for their thoughtcrimes.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And yeah, people with NPD are very often attacked by neurotypicals for their thoughtcrimes.

Source? I've dealt with more than my share of narcissists, and I've never seen this. They might say things like "You really do think you're the center of the universe, unbelievable" but it's not because of the thought itself, it's because of a history of harmful behavior linked to that thought. Manipulation, verbal abuse, selfishness at the expense of others, etc.

If you somehow had all the non-behavioral traits, but were able to avoid all the telltale narcissistic behaviors, no one would attack you for your narcissistic thoughtcrimes.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz -1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's not what drag has heard from people with NPD.

The ableist’s first attack on people with NPD will be to say that the disorder causes abusive behaviour. And they will watch you like a hawk waiting for you to speak out of turn and prove them right. But if you stay on your best behaviour and prove the first stereotype wrong by your own existence, you will see the arguments change. You will still see hate. And the argument for the hate will morph into a new assertion: “Having a big ego is itself an act of abuse.”

https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/why-reactionaries-hate-pride-and-narcissists-938d39261f13

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

NPD is also typified by not recognizing your behavioral offenses, and reacting to criticism by claiming to be the victim. The narcissists in my life never think they do anything wrong, that their abusive behavior is normal or acceptable, that their critics are attacking them for no reason, out of unfounded hatred or jealousy.

That does not make for a reliable evaluation. Claims of baseless attacks from a person who thinks every attack against them is baseless, does not prove that those attacks are actually baseless.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well drag doesn't think neurotypicals with no psychological background can make reasoned judgements on the struggles faced by neurodivergent people either. That's like asking a white person to explain how it feels to be african american.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

Just a few things:

  1. Bit presumptuous to assume I'm neurotypical.

  2. I'm pulling my information from psychologists, like the ones who described the signs and symptoms of NPD in the DSM.

  3. I have extensive experience with more than one narcissist. Failing to recognize their own abusive behavior, and the link to subsequent social fallout, is textbook narcissism.

  4. I'm not trying to make judgement on their struggles, I'm stating that believing oneself to be unfairly targeted is a symptom of narcissism.

It's more like someone who is nose blind to their own horrific body odor (thanks to my MtG phase, also something I'm quite familiar with) than race. They think they smell fine, yet people react poorly to them, some even suggest bathing or deodorant. Since they can't smell themself, they interpret these comments as baseless. They think they smell fine, and other nose blind smelly people will only confirm their self-assuredness.