this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The biggest?

That time we dodged a Scud ballistic missile. I don't mean we saw one get intercepted or had one land nearby and just watched. We actively dodged it.

So there we were in Iraq in 2003. We're outside Al Najaf and the battle for the city is raging. There are artillery rounds going both ways, planes dropping ordnance, and thousands of civilians leaving the city on foot. Mostly we ignored them because we had a job to do. But one guy turns around suddenly and starts walking back into the city. Several of us noticed him and started asking the others around us, "is he?... Is he pacing? Did he turn around just to the side of our position?"

The consensus quickly formed that, yup, he was walking in a way to count his steps and get a distance measurement. Our leaders called up the chain and a plan quickly formed. If it was nothing then there wouldn't be an interruption to the battle anyways. The second the sun was down we moved out to a new position in complete light discipline. Nobody was allowed any light but what they could get through a night vision device. Not even the IR flashlights and markers.

In our new position everything was normal until around 0300 when a huge explosion went off right in our previous fighting position. They had indeed launched a SCUD based on one man pacing a distance measurement, and they were accurate. If we hadn't moved that night then I wouldn't be here.

So we dodged a Scud Missile.

[–] Shard@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Holy shit dude.

I'm a fan of your war stories. The amount of shit you've survived must put you on par with chuck norris or something.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

It was definitely a year that contained a decade, but I'm far from being the one to see the most stuff. And I certainly wasn't a lone wolf. Well except for that one time... Lol I jest, we never did anything alone.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nah, with Chuck Norris, it's usually the missiles that do the dodging.

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

With chuck norris it’s actually probably a lgbtq or minority that needs to do the dodging.

Chuck Norris is a piece of shit

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are we talking about the same Chuck Norris?

No, we are not.

I am talking about an internet meme
You are talking about a real person, who is probably old by now.

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works -4 points 1 month ago

Yeah, we’re talking about the same chuck norris.

Unfortunately we memed a douchebag back in the day, but the good news is you can stop.