me_irl

That's a mood. I came to the conclusion that to do a lot of the big and difficult tasks I've been needing to, I need to start by putting some tasks on my to-do list that were just for me, because whenever I did have free time, I'd piss it away and not even feel rested; I needed to carve out some active self-enrichment time. Unfortunately, burnout and concrete time limitations make that pretty hard to do, so ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

I saw your comment and desperately wished I could give some advice that could help, but how much is reasonable to expect a person to be able to do to resist a fucked up system when simply surviving is A Lot? Surviving is resistance though, especially when the system doesn't like people who understand how fucked the system is. So in lieu of advice that would rely on metaphorical bootstraps we don't have: Solidarity, friend. I'm sorry that you're going through this and I'm sorry that I understand.