Just wanted to add onto this something I only recently found out about myself, and I can't imagine I'm alone in this. There really isn't a "mask off" version of "me," because I started so early and it's been so long (I'm in my 40s). I basically grew around the mask. When the mask is gone, it's shattered. What's left of "me" at that point is just a quivering pile of trauma, repression, guilt/shame, and maladaptive coping skills. There's no in-between, just high- and non-functioning.

Yes, I am in therapy working on it. Double yes, it makes it difficult for anyone to believe that there's anything amiss until I break. Tis no fun.

[–] TDCN@feddit.dk 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It's good to hear you get help. This story just speaks volumes to how important it is to get help as early as possible and to learn to drop the mask and let go when you need to. Wish you the best.