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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 2 months ago by PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

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[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Flip the table. Anger. Disgust. Judgment. Indifference.

If you want to be nice you can always keep your doors open to resolution. But it makes no sense whatsoever to give away mental and emotional real estate for free to donkeys and assholes. It's simply too valuable and you should cherish it for yourself.

You might think indifference is the weakest of what I've mentioned. But being ignored is extremely painful. Aurelius wrote that this is the default goto if you don't have a witty comeback.