this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2024
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All of them except the one where they handed me a collection plate and I thought they were giving me the money so I took it.
I didn't grow up in a church that had one of those. So I've always wondered what would they do if you came to Sunday service, in a hobo outfit and took some of the money in the collection plate. The defense being, 'What? I'm poor. I'm homeless. Jesus would have given.'
Nowadays? Depends on a whole set of indeterminate variables.
But odds point to tazing. arrest, something on that end of the spectrum.
More likely to depend on region of the country or world than anything else.
That would make for one hell of a NotTheOnion, story.
I was around 9 or 10 when this happened. I went with my best friend and his mother. Everyone made a big deal about there being someone new at the church. Then i was handed a gold plate bowl thing of money, so i started stuffing handfuls of money into my pockets thinking everyone was welcoming me with cash. My friend was giggling, i looked at his mother and she was shaking her head. I passed the plate along but kept what was in my pockets.
I've seen a collection plate with a tap-to-pay terminal so that would make it more difficult.
After looking up how much money my local megachurch took in last year ($60 mil) versus how much they spent on charity ($3 mil), I think you were probably justified.