this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
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[–] negativeyoda@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'll go one further: I get (and respect) the utility of they/them pronouns for a singular entity, but it IS clunky and confusing. English is ever evolving but when I hear a "they" it is still very much more abstract and plural than a more specific he or she.

Whatever: it's my shit and I'll gladly deal with a nanosecond of confusion and adjust if it allows people to maintain their dignity. Point is, by insisting that there's nothing confusing about they/them in reference to a single entity feels disingenuous. I know moderate people who are otherwise live and let live as well as receptive to basic human dignity who are turned off by the confusing abstraction, switching tenses, etc.

They/them isn't the elegant, seamless drop in that people say it is and it hurts the messaging. I get that being rigid and forceful is necessary with the rampant transphobia and "i'm just asking (bad faith) questions" going on, but I still fuck up semantics and tenses like whoa

[–] my_hat_stinks@programming.dev 29 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This argument has never made sense simply because of the fact that singular they/them has been in use for literally centuries. It's even reasonable to say it's always been in use considering singular they/them was in use in the 14th century and modern English formed around 14-17th. I can guarantee you have never batted an eye when you heard something like "someone called but they didn't leave a message".

There are only two differences with recent usage: people are less likely to assume genders so use they/them more freely; and people identifying specifically as they/them. The words themselves haven't really changed, they're just more common now. Opposition to singular they/them is almost entirely political.

[–] gjoel@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

singular they/them has been in use for literally centuries

Even if has been in use since forever, a more appropriate word can be introduced now.

[–] Fylkir@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 year ago

Sure, but that's a separate argument.

[–] jhn@xffxe4.lol 5 points 1 year ago

Their argument has a lot to do with people not establishing context upfront unlike your example with “someone called”. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had a conversation with someone talking about a non-binary person, only to realize five minutes in they weren’t talking about a group of people. It’s super jarring when it happens.

[–] biddy@feddit.nl 1 points 1 year ago

True, but singular they is undeniably clunky. Unfortunately it's the best we have, so we will have to get used to it. Opposition to the natural evolution of language has never worked.

[–] Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Thank you.

It’s not people using the neutral that bothers me, it’s the fact that the neutral is both singular and plural while the non neutrals are only singular/plural.

and the plural part also alters the entire sentence structure to plural.

“He is over there” - Singular and easy to understand

“They is over there” - Just sounds wrong.

“They are over there” - Both singular and plural. Is it a person of unspecified nature or multiple people of mixed ones?

English could use a popularization of a strictly singular neutral that doesn’t carry implications of being an object rather than a being (“It is over there”)

[–] kozel@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Are you speaking about that english, which has the same word for "you" and, ehm "you"?

[–] Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

I don't think they/them is the ideal word to replace he/she with either. It probably needs to be a whole new word. They/them exists in my language too and it's used when you're talking about multiple people. It's confusing to say "they did something" when you're speaking of a single person.