this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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A general lack of control, but mainly manifested in not being able to stop doing something. Mainly walking, it's like things can be peaceful, but the moment I try to stop, take a look at something, there's an overwhelming feeling of I can't, I'm not allowed to, I'm moving for a reason and if I stop now, I'll never start again, they(whatever it is) won't let me.
Or sometimes it's coming out of hiding. I've had a few where it's like a horror movie, there's party music somewhere above me, but I'm hiding in something, and I know there's something just wrong, but if I try to leave wherever I'm at, I can't. Like my body in the dream locks up, refuses to let me step out and face it. It makes it feel so much worse, like I'm locked in by my own self.