this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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USPS: Package out for delivery.
Also USPS: Informed Delivery^tm^ reports you have no mailpieces or packages scheduled for delivery today.
Also also USPS: For your convenience, your mail carrier will walk up to your door without your package, but will rather stick a "you weren't home" pink slip in your mailbox without bothering to knock, while you are making eye contact with them through the screen door.
That last one is FedEx lol, or you requested signature service and they just left it in the yard.
I want know where you live, but I'm my area USPS almost ALWAYS leaves a pink slip. FedEx actually gives me the package
Oh man, it's weird how things like that can vary between areas.
For me, the seller always says they've shipped the package.
All delivery entities will agree that it hasn't been given to them yet, but that the seller just created the label.
UPS will confidently claim it will be there tomorrow.
Once they get the package, USPS says it will be there in 3-5 days. It usually shows up in 3-5 days. If it can be somehow believed to be possible to fit it in a mailbox, it will go into the mailbox along with 6 pounds of used car advertisements.
Once UPS gets the package two days later, they realize they can't possibly deliver it yesterday like they said, and update things to "delayed" and stop giving updates. When it shows up 3-5 days later, the driver throws it at the porch and drives away at 60 mph through a residential neighborhood.
FedEx gets the package the next day, and says they'll deliver in three days. On the fourth day, the package says it's on time for scheduled delivery yesterday (that actually happened to me once, pretty sure it was a timezone bug, but it was still hilarious). It will then update to delivered with the package nowhere to be seen. Support will tell you that they understand this can be frustrating and do nothing. A van will deliver the package the next day and tracking will mark it as delivered on time, immediately after the update saying it was delivered late the day before.
Amazon sends a man dressed in all black wearing a ski mask to leave an unpackaged bottle of gummy vitamins on your porch at two in the morning. His "I swear I'm not here to kill you" hi-viz vest is just barely poking out from under his hoodie. The mind boggles at why this service is either free or desirable to anyone.
Then there's DHL who last time someone used them just gave the package to USPS and I was unsure why they were even involved.
USPS is hands down the least mysterious or confusing. Also my mailman waves at me if I'm outside, so they get bonus points for that one dude being friendly.
I was once very eagerly awaiting a FedEx package that required a signature. I basically looked out the window every 30 seconds to make sure I didn't miss him.
5 or 6 o'clock rolls around and I get a notification that the package could not be delivered because "the business was closed". I lived in a rural area with no businesses for several miles, and I'm certainly not a business. The driver clearly just decided he didn't want to deliver any more packages that day and just made up bullshit excuses for the remaining packages.
I contacted FedEx support and it was exactly as everyone knows it to be. "I'm so sorry that was your experience! Now go away."
It was delivered the next day.
If FedEx ever manages to not lose the package first, they'll just leave a slip while we wait inside.
Except for that one time that they actually did deliver on time, but it was through their packing service and the antique that had been shipped was damaged.
Definitely depends on your delivery person. One usps person blacklisted our house because we put up a fence and said they aren't allowed to open fence gates. On ice we put a mailbox on the fence and cleared all that up the next person opened our fence gate to put a package on our porch next to the old mailbox