Chat

7480 readers

40 users here now

Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.

Subcommunities on Beehaw:

AskBeehaw

This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

alyaza@beehaw.org

remington@beehaw.org

Please help: What's your take on woman drinking guy's beer without asking after he starts dancing with her? (beehaw.org)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by appledinosaurcat@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

53 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Please be kind with me as I am new to this platform. I was at a club when a very handsome guy, totally my type, started dancing with me. I don't know what gave me the courage to take the half finished beer from his hand and take a sip of it without asking. I then gave his beer back to him, and he said he had to go but will be right back. It was an excuse to stop dancing with me since he just stayed put in his friend group without going anywhere. I've been feeling really bad after that happened and would have danced the night away with him if I could. And now I have no idea what his name or phone number is, just keep replaying that night in my mind.

What is your opinion on a woman taking a man's beer and having a sip without asking? Is it such an awful gesture that his sudden rejection was warranted? Was he angry, scared off, or just thought I was easy? I am not that type of person and had no ill intentions whatsoever. I just acted on natural impulse and was trying to be flirtatious. Thank you for any advice and comfort.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] livus@kbin.social 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

@appledinosaurcat I can imagine for some people it might give a strange vibe around respecting consent and boundaries.

[–] appledinosaurcat@beehaw.org 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That makes sense, thank you. I didn't think of that and consider how things looked from his side. I keep wondering though, was there anything that could have been done to fix the situation once it happened?

[–] livus@kbin.social 4 points 5 months ago

@appledinosaurcat I'm probably not the best person to ask because my idea of flirtation has always been fairly direct.

But I'd have probably gone up to him and said something like "hey sorry about before, I was trying to flirt with you but I see now it put you off me." And then if the response was positive, "Can I buy you a new beer to make up for it?"