Chat

7480 readers

40 users here now

Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.

Subcommunities on Beehaw:

AskBeehaw

This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

alyaza@beehaw.org

remington@beehaw.org

Please help: What's your take on woman drinking guy's beer without asking after he starts dancing with her? (beehaw.org)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by appledinosaurcat@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

53 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Please be kind with me as I am new to this platform. I was at a club when a very handsome guy, totally my type, started dancing with me. I don't know what gave me the courage to take the half finished beer from his hand and take a sip of it without asking. I then gave his beer back to him, and he said he had to go but will be right back. It was an excuse to stop dancing with me since he just stayed put in his friend group without going anywhere. I've been feeling really bad after that happened and would have danced the night away with him if I could. And now I have no idea what his name or phone number is, just keep replaying that night in my mind.

What is your opinion on a woman taking a man's beer and having a sip without asking? Is it such an awful gesture that his sudden rejection was warranted? Was he angry, scared off, or just thought I was easy? I am not that type of person and had no ill intentions whatsoever. I just acted on natural impulse and was trying to be flirtatious. Thank you for any advice and comfort.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

This is funny to me! I am definitely not the person to ask, I am not in that zone or area, but to me this is definitely a flirty sign. Granted, my wife loves beer as much as I do and we love sharing it and tasting, so if she did that to me in a club I'd assume she was flirting. (If she drank half my beer now then I'd be upset). Maybe some weird masculine "Breh mreh girls don't drink beer" BS?

The only thing I can think of as an old man is that post-covid, it's definitely not very sanitary, and maybe that's what scared them off? However, I wouldn't be going to a club if I was worried about that. Thinking about how many people's sweat you got on you that night...

Oh, to bring the tone down I should say be careful of drinking from drinks that aren't yours though. My wife was actually roofied. I was luckily there just in the bathroom when it happened, but that was the scariest night of my life. Some absolute asshole drugged her, I walked up and he pissed himself and ran away. It shattered all of my illusions about safety in clubs. So, maybe it would be best to just have your own...

[–] appledinosaurcat@beehaw.org 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thank you so much! I'm relieved to hear that you would have interpreted it as I had intended, an innocent flirty sign. It was really the first time I had done that and agree about the sanitation/safety factors. What should I have done to fix it after that happened, if any? For example, I keep wondering if it would've helped for me to apologize and clarify my intentions, and try to continue dancing with him. Or do you think he would see that as desperate? Do you think he thought I was an "easy" person without boundaries?

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 4 points 5 months ago

Personally, I think you're reading into it too much there. I wouldn't think of it as something an easy girl would do, or desperate, or anything really, just oh, she took a sip from my drink. The only thing I can think of is some weird masculinity thing where he thought you were trying to steal his drink, if anything I think he's probably reading into it too much.

I would take it as "Okay, you're loss buddy" and move on. Find someone who wants to split a beer with you (and preferably uses their words instead of stomping off).

[–] livus@kbin.social 3 points 5 months ago

@scrubbles saliva on a glass is a magnitude more unsanitary than sweat/breathing if you think about things like EBV and hepatitus.