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What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

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[–] anarchost@lemm.ee 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You're asking about a collective and also a singular...

Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too. For the collective "hey guys" I have no one-word replacement ("folks/folx" sounds equally southern and somehow more cringe), but you could replace the whole phrase with "hey everybody", "hi gang", "how are you all", or just "hey".

When speaking to any woman, I would advise against calling them "dude" or "man." Full stop. No further thoughts necessary on that one.

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too.

Sorry if it wasn't clear enough, I'm looking for general terms to use for all people, regardless of their gender, not just trans people.

There have been some good examples for groups, but nothing that fits well for talking to one person directly.

[–] anarchost@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

My personal recommendation is to drop the extra title entirely. For everybody.

E.g. instead of saying "great work man" just say "great work." It could help you prevent flubs later.

I do wish I knew some non-binary singular terms I could use, but none come to my mind

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yes, this seems to be the simplest answer, even if it will take a while to get used to.

[–] anarchost@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

I think I'm going to piggyback off inspiration of your question and ask my own, something like: "Enbies, how do you prefer partners or others refer to/about you?"

BTW, sorry for misunderstanding the goal of your post, but I appreciate your (and others') replies here.