this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2024
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7 years down the fucking shitter and she only left after she finished destroying my life. I wish things didn't end the way they did because my memories of her are all tainted with the knowledge that she was never who I thought she was.
I just got out of an 8 year relationship within the last month. I don't know what to offer you besides hoping that you did have some good memories to remember together and it sounds like not having them in your life is better in the long run for you. Hopefully your time together helped improve you as a person and you can go forward a stronger person, or the emotional space you have now can help lead you down a path of self-improvement.
Honestly I have been searching desperately for a silver lining and there truly just isn't one. I lost my job because of the stress of trying to save the relationship and mental health has been too wrecked to even begin the search for new work. My apartment looks like a hoarder's den because I can't bring myself to do any chores. My health is deteriorating rapidly due to stress and because I don't eat most days. Not for lack of money, I just can't bring myself to do anything. And the fucking nightmares, every night. I've become so jaded I don't even recognize myself anymore.